Fairytale Believer

Haven't been writing my thoughts for a long while now. Not because I don't have any; on the contrary, I've been thinking a lot of everything. I just don't blog about it because I'm not sure I want to face them. Thinking doesn't matter, I can stash them away in a corner when I don't feel up to it. But writing it out...well that takes it up to a whole different level.

Waiting for a fairytale

I'm sure you guys have seen the title. I am a fairytale believer. Or I was? I'm not sure anymore. I used to believe in happy ever afters. But right now, I couldn't see any happy ever afters happening around me, let alone on me. Listening and witnessing tales of breakups and heartbreaks make me wonder the true definition of fairytale nowadays.

In search of you.

Witnessing breakups are hard on me. I can lend a shoulder to best friends who got hurt in relationships, minor or major, and listen to past stories that never bloom. And it's okay, really. I like listening and knowing about them. I'm always curious for more information, more knowledge. And not just stale book knowledge. I'm more interested in life than books. *drumroll* This is why I don't put too much attention on books (and becoming a bookworm). Getting all As is but just a tiny moment in life. I want to see the big picture, to learn of every detail as possible, instead of focusing too much on one little aspect (and a boring one at that) of life.

Fairytale Roses

But listening to breakup stories and relationships that never started makes me think deeply. I am not emo. I don't even get what emo is anyway. It's supposed to stand for emotional, but that applies for people who go crazy/tearful about every little comment about them right? Mentally unstable, depressed people, right? Thinking deeply is different. Thinking leads to awareness about life. :)

Together, always.

Is it because we're too superficial? Because we don't feel anything deeply? Because we never think of forever anymore? Is it true love if love lasts for a few weeks? Months? Is it true love if the love isn't given or received with thoughts of eternity? Is it true love if you can exchange partners with your friends without breaking a sweat?

Or are all these thoughts outdated?
Are open relationships now a trend?
Am I too traditional?
Am I outdated?

Isn't this a pathetic world? How many of us fairytale believers are left? I don't understand. Why start a relationship if you're uncertain if you want to spend forever with this person? Why do so much for a relationship, care so much about it, if you know you're probably going to break up with the other person one day? Why bother maintaining a relationship if you're not thinking about eternity?

And maybe these kind of thoughts will scare a lot of supposedly modern guys away, who are afraid of long-term commitment. Who cares though? These guys aren't worth my time anyway. If they're not serious about the relationship, it's gonna end sooner or later. And breakups hurt. If they don't hurt, it isn't love. It's infatuation. I'm gonna wait for one who loves me enough to be committed, rather than one who is perfect but could not be bothered to be committed to me, no mater what.

Maybe I AM outdated.
But I don't care. I love it this way. And if you love me, you better be serious. :P