Im getting desperate?

Hz...I...hz...

Just passed our 5th month anniversary...happy anniversary to us!

This is taken out from my diary 2day...lol...ok so not word by word, but this is what my 2day diary entry says...lol

dl...(ya ya ya him agn...i din even count hw many times his name appear in my diaries)

Hmm...I'll start off with saying:

I love Delien.

Lol....say liao.

And...I...(zzz this is hard....typing feelings out loud...writing in my diary is much better)

And I...keep getting more and more in love with him...

And...more and more desperate to be with him.

(say liao)

And..........................

And he wasn't like that at all....

(say liao...)

Wait. Listen 2 me first. Not that I want him to be so crazy over me that he forgot everything else in his life. He has a LIFE of his own. He has his friends, his studies, his sports, his family, etc.

And I didn't say he doesn't love me, he still does. I know, I know he loves me.

But after so much....he still hasn't improve, or change, somehow. Change as in change for better.

Of course I don't want him to stop loving me. His love has a magical effect on me. (desperation showing agn?)

But...hz. I gt feel a bit d worthless.

Sometimes he seem so preoccupied, sometimes lost in thought, sometimes nt smiling and look unhappy...

I didn't suspect him or what becuase I trust him.

Coz when we're definitely alone he's more focused.

But why, why am I so addicted 2 him? 

If I tell him my frustration at not being to be with him, he said nothing. Or just lol. ><

Sometimes I hurt, sometimes I fed up, so in the end I don't want say le.

Sometimes I hate saying because later he will think me so desperate.

Mayb was I supposed 2 act cool and calm and not so crazy? 

After dat day i say dat i will love dl forever....13/12/09, i was really really trusting him completely with myself. I was reading through my old diaries (after doing homework la...) and saw that I have really change after dat time...i mean bfor dat we were a bit distant...nw nt liao ma...

But he didn't change. 

14 Sep d him and 14 Jan d him still same d....T.T

Anything wrong with me?