So many happenings..

I’m sorry for abandoning and neglecting my blog for this long. As you can see I’m getting busier and busier. I never stopped writing this long before. And so many things happened…and I don’t think I have time to make each into a post. That would be really scary.

YE has already done our sales at QB. It was real fun and our stall was pretty and very busy-looking. I got the sales profits already, we’re average. But never mind. We’ll try more sales outside. Our goal is to aim 500% profit for each shareholder. If we really get that, I’ll get RM60! Think of the dress I can have. Maybe I’ll get aanother halter. I simply love halter dresses…it’s cooling, subtly sexy and I look better than in other necklines. Though for the full beauty effect I’ll have to go on contacts. If not it’ll just spoil the whole look. XD. Or maybe I’ll get myself some nice nail protector. I saw one in a shop, it’s great cuz it makes your nails look beautiful and protects them too.

Back to the topic. So…there’s exams coming too, but I can’t be bothered to think of them. Yawn. The mere mention of revision just makes me feel sleepy. You’re right, not much vitality for someone who wants 11A+ eh? Okay, that’s not my aim, that’s from everyone who knows me. =.=

Oh ya, I saw dissection for real for the first time! I wasn’t that scared since my hamsters keep on dying, and they’re using white mice so it’s the same. And I’ve seen dissection photos at FB from CHC people. So, no surprises, but I did feel bad. They (two) were so cute because of their brown stripes. Teacher poured too much chloroform on the cotton wool, so they died from that. Because when we saw the heart it was already not beating. They have kinda neat internal organs…everything so tiny. The heart is just a bit bigger than a red bean and the kidney is a red bean. Lol. The biggest is the liver. The ribs are kind of hard but easy to cutli. The worst part is GY wanted to measure the small intestine and she actually dragged it out into a long row. YUCKS.

Prefect Annual Lunch went smoothly…I wore the red dress with frills at the sleeves and black leggings, gold strapped heels, gold hairband, gold clutch, gold belt and gold bangle. Hahaha…yeah a lot of gold. I specially found gold stuff to go with my first-bought gold shoes. >.< Thanks a lot to darling for getting the gold clutch to me. I only bought it about a few days before the day at an online store. Yeah, last minute. Thank God the shop was kind enough to post it out before I got the full amount to them, and DL for getting the bag for me, even though it was difficult for him. Love you darling.

Hmm..what else? I’m juruaudit in the prefectorial board. Hmm…the lowest in AJK list but at least I get on that list. Don’t forget that there are around 80 Form4 and Form3…and only limited posts. >.<. I was thinking maybe I’d have been a group leader or some higher up penolong if I’d been there since Form1, but I would never have wanted it. If I’m there since F1, I’d never have met DL. And I wouldn’t have all those memories.

Speaking of DL…he got into real trouble these days. Started with him being colder than usual, more distant than usual. He told me he was busy, was arguing with people, no mood…blah. I tried to comfort him. I waited for him night and day. Then one day he suddenly accused me of liking Lem, blah blah. Wtf…>.< I wasn’t. But he wouldn’t believe me. He even accused me of telling WY his secret stuff. Our secrets. But I never spoke to her since a long time. T.T…

I confronted WY…she told me about DL cheating on me. On me?? Then DL and I argued…because if there are people noticing then it means he’s so obvious…T.T…he keeps on telling me he loves me and he didn’t like her…then I wanted him to prove that…I specifically asked him to stop caring about her…but he hurt me over and over…he promised…but he hurt me and broke his promises…and then he told me all kinds of reasons of excuses…

It really hurt me. Amazing how it still hurts even after millions of times of being hurt. I should’ve felt nothing right?

JJ says I’m love-sick. I guess I am. She says it’s stupid to suffer like this…for a person who didn’t love me back that much.

Yeah, I’m stupid. For not being able to protect myself. I’m a goner. I used to be able to protect myself. Then I trusted him to protect me. But he didn’t…he hurt me. And now I’ve lost the ability to protect myself. Oh…God. Please give me strength…

I’m giving him a chance. If he doesn’t appreciate it…fine. I’ll leave and he can get her. But if he still cares…he’ll try to get my heart back. Sometimes I feel so PATHETIC. Why the hell do I feel so stupid?? I know I should have the courage to stop talking to him, just leave him for days and days until I feel better. But I didn’t. I know I’m pathetic for loving him this much. Maybe it’s too much…but I love him…

I really do.

And I’ll sacrifice everything for him.

Dear God..please save our relationship ok? I don’t wanna be in a bad relationship…but I don’t wanna let him go too…T.T

Till then,

Michelle Yuen Ai