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*adding pictures tomorrow...too tired right now*

It's been sooooo long that I haven't been here. D:
So much have happened, and yet, not that much.
I've been swamped by work and other stuff, and even though I think about this little sanctuary from time to time, I'm either too tired or too busy to write here.
In fact, it's 2.41am right now, and I'm sleepy, and I should be sleeping, but I figured I should drop by to say hello.

I'm pretty sure nobody misses me lol but I miss this place.
I guess it reminds me of how free I used to be to write tutorials and reviews. Bryan mentioned that I should write episode reviews for all the anime we've been watching but I simply don't have the time, so~

So I'll just do a quick update on myself, nothing to generate traffic, but just a little something to remind myself that this place is still alive and no matter what, I can always trust my writing.

Even if my English marks are kinda shitty right now.

So first of all I've moved down to another unit. This time I get a single room all to myself so I'm actually pretty happy, although there's a certain creature in the house that I absolutely dislike, but then I hermit in the room all the time so it's fine I guess. My room is in a huge mess right now because I keep wanting to clean up but never got around to doing it, so there are books and papers on the floor, clothes everywhere and I just want to purge the room of everything lol.

And semester 3 has been hard on me. I don't think anyone actually enjoys sem3, since it's a lot of work, but I've gotten depressed quite easily. Work doesn't bother me, but there's a tendency to forget why I'm here, and that nothing matters. Classes seem stupid now. I can skip all of them save Econs and there's no difference. What I need is time, personal, quiet, wonderful time to work on my assignments. Not listening to stuff that I can read myself. Maybe I just don't feel that classes contribute to anything anymore. How can they be when they aren't mentally stimulating? I still like Econs but since the changes in the timetable, it's now the last class everyday. .___. which means that in every Econs class I'm probably half asleep.

Anyway, Dr Brice and a bunch of teachers left IB, which in some cases it's saddening and in other cases it's not. For one, I actually like Dr Brice a lot more now that he's gone even though I didn't like him before. Nobody really like Ms S who replaces him. I guess she tries too hard to set herself into place and introduces change too quickly. Some of the changes she enforces are that now I'm stuck in 2.1 forever. She says that having one class all to ourselves is good. No it's not. I hate being in 2.1 all the time. I hate feeling like high school all over again. I want to move about. Everyone else echo me.

There's some more but I won't go into them. For another, our French class is now more structured with Ms Nadia. She can also pinpoint what's wrong or what we don't understand, and make us have extra classes. I suppose she's quite okay. At least there's no more screaming and drama lol.

Oh and it's funny how I've been influenced into liking a lot of Japanese shiz now. I play J games (card and phone and PSP), hug J toys, listen to J songs, went to a J piano concert, watched J anime, attended J event, wore a J outfit, and even has a J name lololol. I guess I'm pretty flexible when it comes to being interested in things because I'm always curious and I think that almost everything is fun and all knowledge is important. And it's fun doing all this with B because at least we have something to do together. I remembered how in my foolish teenage years I was with this guy who didn't have anything intelligent to talk about and there was close to nothing that we could do together. Our conversations were as bland as diluted pee and I don't even know how I could stand that lolz.

I like trying this and that and everything even though I might get a little scared at something new, or facing new people and just being generally a newbie. I remember how in the past when I was a newbie prefect back in high school and people would be all patronizing and shiz and I'd get upset and wanted to throw in the towel because it was so annoying. But I liked the uniform better than the default pinafore (LOL) so I stuck with it, pulled through and got to patronize the juniors hahahaha.

Speaking of high school I do have to congratulate three of my best friends for getting their dream university courses :D
Now I have a vet friend, a pharmacist friend and a doctor friend. I'm so happy that all of them got the course they wanted, even if they didn't exactly get where they really want to go.

Which brings me back to myself, and the paranoid thoughts that I wouldn't be able to make it lol. I like to stretch my wings really really far, and set my sight really really high. But sometimes I feel that I would just like to be happy and contented, and going to a large famous university doesn't matter much at all. And despite everyone trying to influence me and saying how awesome US is, it still feels like a backup plan, and it really makes no sense to have the likes of Stanford and UChicago as backups right? So I'm seriously having second thoughts of applying to competitive universities in the US.

Btw I got a 2020 for my SAT first sitting, which looks like the highest among my peers as far as I know, but it doesn't mean much because I still can't apply to competitive places with it. Well technically I can but a 2000+ doesn't really show up well in the statistics of successful applications. So yeah I'm resitting it but I still feel that I probably won't improve by a lot, so~

So this is my tentative uni list:
UK: Cambridge, KCL, UCL, UEdinburgh
US (confirmed): UMich, UC Berkeley
Canada: UToronto

Others (maybe): HKU
US (maybe): UChicago, UPenn, Stanford, Brown
^ I won't be applying to all of the maybes, of course. Like maybe just two from that list or something. Brown was super recent (like yesterday) because B says he really likes the Brown take on education. But Brown is 40+ in the ranking list for humanities, and I need the gov scholarship to go overseas (unless I can secure another scholarship la) because my family not hyper-rich. So Brown's not conclusive yet as I still need confirmation on whether it is the Top50 or Top20 ranking lists for scholarship eligibility. Although I wouldn't mind going there actually, it sounds liberal and nice.

Oh and I've concluded that I dislike liberal arts colleges lol. I want a university experience, as in the traditional idea of a large university campus with everything and anything, and the hustle and bustle of university life with students milling around. I suppose it'll be hard to feel personal in a university but I guess a more impersonal feel is what I've always thought about universities, so it's probably not a big deal. I mean, we've had personal classes since kindergarten. I'm sure university should be an entirely different experience. If all the education is going to mirror each other then life would be too boring. And liberal arts colleges feel like TCSH all over again, like IB all over again because IB is really small and personal. And since I've gone through that experience I'd like to have something new, which is in a large setting, but somewhere pleasant and suburban I suppose.

At this point in time I'd really, really like to go to either Edinburgh or Toronto. Both places have a pleasant feel about their campus, and Trinity College in Toronto looks lovely. I like Edinburgh for its beautiful feel of the whole town, and I like UToronto for its collegiate system which is as rare as a dolphin's feather. And both of them are within reach, have flexible degrees and are also coincidentally enough, cold. LOL. Not a good idea for someone who generally likes the cool air but is afraid of the cold. D:

I dunno. It's gonna be September soon and I have to start preparing my applications when they open for next intake applications. Ugh. I'm so indecisive. And so much work to do. Much depressed.
I can't keep my eyes open now, so I've got to go. I'll write more maybe tomorrow or over the weekends. :)
It's 3.30am now.