-Unknown
Thanks to my switching of schools on an average of three years, my life is divided into many, many distinct phases. And well, no matter how good that phase is, or how bad it ends, or how embarrassing, when it's time to move on, I move on.
And I always do so, by myself. Alone. It's not my choice. It's just that people don't switch like I do. Do I seem to get better at moving on after this many times of change? I don't know. I don't think so. The dread is always there. I'm not born to love change, but circumstances have forced me to.
*Note: I'm getting unbelievably long-winded in this post. Scroll down to Phase 6 to skip a summary of my life history =.=*
Phase 1 was during primary school #1. I don't remember any feelings of dread, but I think I missed my friends from kindergarten.
Phase 2 was during primary school #2. This one was terrible. It was my first forced change, I didn't want to leave but my parents made me, so I had a bad time fitting in. I didn't know what to expect, didn't know what to do, and hating every moment of it because I didn't know anyone there, except for an old classmate who didn't help. Missed my best friends from phase 1 like crazy. But then it ended okay, I made some cool friends + puppy love.
Phase 3 was during secondary school #1. Hated this as well because CHC has its own two primary schools, which means my classmates knew each other since primary. It was difficult to fit in here too, because again I didn't know anyone, except for another old classmate, who has her fair share of friends. It still ended okay though, I made some awesome crazy best friends, classmates were amiable, a couple of crushes and had my first serious relationship.
Phase 4 was during secondary school #2. Oh God this was by far the most horrible one ever. I mean at first. I had to fit in + miss my besties + handle a long-distance relationship + struggle with Form4. It was bad. Really bad. I knew about a quarter of the class from my Phase 1 school, since this is the secondary school, but they all had their own cliques and I was from out of the blue. Exam results took a swandive obviously. But later during Form5 I finally had my spot in class and fitted in okay, ended my relationship too due to unforgivable circumstances.
Phase 5 was after SPM. Half a year of doing nothing except hangouts and gatherings with Phase 4 peeps. Suddenly became close with many of those who were previously labelled classmates-only. Being in each other's company once every few days and fooling around on Facebook group chat apparently can bring people closer. And many of them too, about 10? Love all of them warm, friendly people who were (still are) always infected by my crazy laughter. Had a whirlwind romance, which apparently cost a good friend, but then, life's too short to regret. Whatever will be, will be.
I haven't registered anywhere yet, and yes, the deadline is in a month. And it's soooo important because I've got to spend two years on this programme at this place, away from home. Furthermore it's my next ticket to the prospect of an overseas study scholarship. I have got to ace this. So there's no space for regrets! Which college? If Taylor's, which campus? Which course, A-Levels/IB? What subjects to take? Oh.My.God. Maybe I should try eenie meenie minee mo now...
What brand? What specifications? What model? What processor? How much memory? Which OS? What extras to buy? What free offers/savings? What colour? Where to buy? Online? Shop? KL? Penang? How to buy? When to buy?....................
And it's yet another long-term decision, as it's gonna be my most prized asset for at least 2 years.
*waves white flag*
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