Apart from choir, there's absolutely nothing else about CHC and its students (aka my friends) to look forward to, this year. And after this year, they will form a part of the past. No matter how much I'd wanted to bring them forward with me, no matter how many times I swear everyone who are my friends, I'll keep in contact, but the truth is, friends won't really last if you're not in the same school as them.
Just now I went to my future school...walked around the corridors. Of course I'm not going to the SPM corridors la...but as I walked along a class (5A2), I saw, through the pale blue curtains and half-closed windows, all the chairs and tables stacked up together.
And I just stood there like turned into stone.
Admittedly, it brings back those memories. Still fresh and yet, long-gone. I'll probably relive it again, when I'm sitting for SPM. But the atmosphere, the people, they'll all be different.
Remembering those days when everyone in my class studied feverishly and had a ready stock of reference books by hand. Those days when teachers sit in the class doing their own work, those "free yet not free" times, when we had all the freedom in the world but expected to only study. I had bouts of migraine in those days, but it wasn't so bad.
I remember there was one day when HuiJie and JoYee added an entertainment break in between studying. There were only a few people in class, but we were all entertained by their hilarious acting. I remember I did laugh, but somehow I wasn't really laughing. I think DL n me must have argued that day.
Those days when it was just before PMR, and our class was made into a store for extra chairs and tables. Students from other classes come and go. Everyone was rather tense that day, and we were quite mad because Miss Teh was ordering us to do things and don't stand there like gods but there weren't anything to do! In the end our job was standing at the door and grabbing tables and chairs from bewildered students, and take the things into our class. Just to find something to do. >.<
PMR was~nothing to say. But its like missing half of the class-we never really see them for all those days...and they don't see us too. After PMR...nobody really cares about the minor subjects like sivik and moral. When we had the exams, it was like a discussion forum instead of exam time. Lol...
After exams we had all the time to ourselves. We chat about every topic under the sun. We discussed about after pmr activities. We had some activities organized by the school.
But slowly, more and more classmates didn't come anymore. At the very end, only a handful came. Under 10? Maybe. At the very end, me n JJ n WY spent time in the library typing stories. Everything was so...monotonous. I wish I could have a full class atmosphere on the last day. With the teacher teaching and trying to control us, while boys like JiaYean and TuYuan and SuenRuey interrupting the boring teaching and make us all burst into laughter, and WY and me writing funny notes to each other and once in a while call JJ to fold the paper for us, coz she's the only one with minimal sense of humour and won't give away what's inside the paper.
I miss all of my friends. I really really do. And to think I would never hear any joke, any chat, any rumour about this boy and that girl, to think that I wouldn't be a part of 2010 (3A) next year 4S1, to think I won't do a class party with all my friends...that just makes me sad. So horribly sad you wouldn't imagine how I feel right now. I want to cry, but what's the use of crying? There's no turning back. Even though I haven't gotten the school-change letter, I could never go back again next year.
If people ask about 08037 in the CHC school office, they'll only hear two words.
She's gone.
