Afresh. Alone. Again. :)

The mood is a bit down.
Just a tiny little bit.
But this isn't the first time I'm starting afresh at some place new.
This isn't the first time I'm alone, like without an old friend with me.

I already come prepared for any feeling that I might have during the transition.
I know I'll be missing my friends, missing the gang of craziness personified.
I know I'll be thinking no one, no group of friends can ever replace them.
I know I'll be feeling like it's impossible to recreate those memories, and that it sucks to only have memories and perhaps never have a reunion with all of them as a complete group again.

:/

And I also know that it won't last for long.
It'll fade after a while.
It's a big life change, to separate away from everything familiar.
Going to an unfamiliar place, being with unfamiliar people.
But it'll fade, with time, and with new friends.
And although the old crazy group will always be in my heart, I'll stop actively thinking about them all the time.
And carry on with a new life at a new place with new people.
Oh, I know it'll be fine.

I read back a few of my entries on blog/diary (I never actually posted up some of them) from the first few days at SHHS, and I almost laughed out loud. I was super super unhappy about it and complained about everything under the sun, and feeling awfully alone because everyone was talking and joking around and I was the new girl there, so it was really uncomfortable.

Haha this is really cute <3

But two (and a half) years later I'm best friends with a few of them, good friends with many of them, and friends with most of them. And I'm included in their big group (you know there's always a main group of crazy people in any given class), so social life had been awesome. And so I don't suppose I'll fare worse here right?

But nothing will be enough to combat that rush of emotions, that feeling of loss.
Guess it's still kinda hard for me to adapt, even after that many times of change.
All I get isn't resilience but only knowledge of what is coming.
Losing so much in such little time is a bit hard to take in all at once.

Here I am, with a feeling of deja vu.
Starting afresh, alone, again.
We can't afford to stand still while the sand falls through the hourglass and life whips through the wind all around us.
We have to move on, stride forward.
Take baby steps at the very least.
Life is not for the weak.
People who can't move on, too weak to take life head on
Will never succeed, will they?

I can.
Life is all about challenges and adventures.
And I am confident that no matter how I feel now, I am going to feel better in the near future.
And I will have survived through this, alone, without any friends from the past, without any family.
Yes, it's a tough call.
But something is only greatly valued when it doesn't come easy, when it is risky and difficult.
Friends will leave you sooner or later one day, to reach for their own dreams.
Why settle for something less than what you really want just because you're scared of the unknown, afraid of being alone, when you're going to end up alone too someday?

Be brave, be courageous, and aim for something high, something you really want, something that you need to jump to reach it.
And when you catch it, it'll all be worth it. :)

Let go of the bad memories.
Let the good ones be where they should be; buried deep inside the heart.
Leave the past behind.
Follow your dreams. :)