IB Finals in 48 hours-

Last post : early January.

Okcan.

Well I DID plan a few posts but they are all sitting in my draft folder because I never got around to finishing them. I’m sorry for being away; I’ll be back in about a month’s time! After finals I’ll finally get the time to blog again and I’m really looking forward to it because I have so much to say throughout the time I’ve been missing but I couldn’t find the time.

There’s only a couple of days left until IB finals start officially, and I’m kinda nervous now and need to get all my nerves out of my system. I’ve been given a conditional offer by Oxford (in case I didn’t mention anything about it lol cause I forgot what I posted and what I didn’t) and even though most of my seniors easily cleared the conditions, I’m afraid I’m not that confident myself.

The condition is 39 total points with 766 in HLs, and while I know I used to dream about 45, I’m not even sure now that a 7 in any of my HL subjects is doable. I’ve gotten 42 for my predicted grades (as of when I applied unis) and 39 for trials (even though I crammed and didn’t study much at all due to IAs/EE deadline overload PLUS idiotic exam timetable that put 3 different subjects in one day for me wtf), but still, I guess I just hate external markers. They are so unpredictable haha.

Sigh.

Hmph.

There isn’t an end to this, is there? All those major exams are like missions to clear, and they just keep coming without a drop in lethality. Everybody said SPM was the last hurdle, but noooooo I still have to clear this one. I supposed it’s my fault for not applying to the US (since they generally have unconditional offers) and UK is just notorious for high conditions. :s

Sometimes I can’t even NOT feel kiasu, to the point that I feel that it is ingrown and permanent in me. Technically I can just put my insurance choice as Edinburgh and go there almost effortlessly (conditions 34pts; 555 in HLs) but noooo I have to slave over finals like I’m dying to go to Oxford. (how ironic when applying for it was an afterthought). All because of my family (the news has spread to my extended relatives and school teachers because the offer came right before Chinese New Year yay) since I really don’t want to let them down after all the support (financial/emotional) they have given me and also unfortunately my asshole kiasu-ness since everyone left and right of me are being awesome people getting famous/being pro/achieving stuff better than what I’ve ever done.

Admittedly I don’t like being left behind in the kiasu race even though I know I said (and acted) that I don’t give a shit about superficial kiasuness. I feel like a hypocrite now lol. You know I feel like turning down Oxford and firming UCL instead which was what I really wanted to do back then. I had no hope at all about Oxford, so I was planning to firm UCL and insure Edinburgh because they’re both what I really want after tons of research. Getting the Oxffer (omg I’m punning?) has caused me so much trouble to make my decisions that I’m still putting off deciding until the deadline.

The deadline is 6^th of May, and today is 2^nd of May. I wanted to decide just now but I got stuck at the page for a long time panicking so I’ve decided to take my HL exams first (starting 4^th May) and see how it goes. Hopefully I’ll be able to do really well so that I can feel more confident about my decisions.

COME LET'S STUDY

A little update about what I’ve been up to: I’ve been studying and overnighting at Blyan’s studio apartment (not his home la obviously, this is like a…rest house?) for a couple of weeks now, with Nic and JY raiding the place every afternoon-night and sometimes overnighting too (we have a sofabed + a bed so it’s just nice for all four of us to snore there). And we take turns to be the DJ and play tracks from Youtube that each of us choose in turn. It’s pretty fun and rather effective (well today nobody was here and I’m not very productive, + I spent a week snoozing about 3 weeks ago when this hasn’t started yet). I’m glad I have a study group even though it’s really rather late to start (my SPM study group started two months before?). I work best in silence but I like groups as they at least keep me awake lol.

I should go back to studying now I think. Hopefully I’m extra productive in the next 48 hours because I HAVE A TERRIBLE EXAM TIMETABLE AND I AM GOING TO SUFFER FOR FOUR CONSECUTIVE DAYS.

Exam timetable below:

See what I mean? 3 HLs and 1 SL all packed in four consecutive days. Can’t be luckier wtf. Everybody else has better timetables and I know I get the worst share because nobody takes Economics and Psychology together. Maybe Dr Brice was trying to save me from this terrible fate by discouraging me to take both subjects last time. Lol. Oh well. At least I get to rest and do last minute Math practices (I swear my Math level is still in the grade 5 band, need to relearn shit that I forgot lol) and relax with French videos (haha) until French exam.

Well anyway I’m going to study and then sleep. I need to spam some upbeat songs to keep myself awake. That bed looks too tempting. 

Don't Bother About IB If...

...you ONLY want good grades. Save yourself the time and go do other programmes that focus on grades.

I mean, I can't stress that IB is not for the faint-hearted enough. It's tough. It's challenging. It tests everything about you, your patience, your dedication, your perseverance, your teamwork, your time management. And if you ONLY care about good grades, unfortunately, you won't be able to make it...

even if you DO get good grades.

Why? Because the IB's aim is to shape you to become a better individual. It is never ONLY about academic excellence. Yes, exams still play a huge part in IB. But there are so many extra things, that if you only do them simply to get a 7, it is all pointless stress. Why torture yourself when you can get the equivalent with less work?

Time and time again I see "smart" Malaysian students running after As and A+s without actually loving the subjects they are studying, getting involved in clubs that only serve to boost their potential to get scholarships instead of being passionate about the activities. Their lives are fixed and dead. They have no choice, the path is set for them. Nothing else matters but going, no, racing against each other to get into the best universities. Taking a 2-year programme is considered stupid when you can take a 1-year one. Taking a gap year is a big no-no, it is unheard of in Malaysia, even if it is becoming a norm elsewhere.

As hard as IB sounds is, it offers me (and you, if you're considering it) a chance to get out of this fixed pathway. I don't want to compete against others to rush into a university. I do want to get into my dream university (note it might not be the best university), but I want to do so at my own time, at my own pace, when I'm ready. I didn't take a gap year for many reasons, one of them being that I need motivation and a driving force, and if I stay at home I'll only be wasting time slacking. And I believe that taking IB has allowed me to:

• Be independent. Living 364km (4 hours drive) away from home, in the urban city of Kuala Lumpur means I have to be independent and learn how to take care of myself without parents looking out for me. This ensures I'll be good to go once I'm ready to leave for UK or other countries, depending on which university I'm going later.
• Be independent again. The syllabus is designed such that students make many decisions for themselves. A lot of freedom is given to us: it starts off with picking our subjects, and then going on to forming our own IA topics and essay titles. Teachers are not allowed to guide us too much, all of it should be our own work. This is good as it stops spoon-feeding right there and prepare us for university life.
• Get used to assignments that actually count. University is not all exams. There are stuff like thesis and assignments that you have to do over the years, especially if you're going to universities in the US. So having many assignments that count toward the final grade helps prepare me for a smoother transition into university: I won't have to worry so much!
• Be an active and passionate participant in other stuff! Chances are, if you're in A-Levels and you're studying in Asian countries, you will tend to focus too much on academic stuff. You won't be bothering about other activities because they don't matter. In IB, there are compulsory hours, but it quickly becomes more fun and less work as you can do about anything you like, and you may discover something new that you really enjoy. 
• Choose the subjects that I like. If you're like me, you won't be happy with doing all sciences, or all arts. There will be that one subject that you dislike. Good news is that IB lets you choose one subject from each Group, so you can pick that subject you like best only. This is awesome especially if you have never been given a choice before.
• Be more conscious of the world. I don't know about other programmes, but IB is pretty global. For example, we can't just limit ourselves to UK and US in our Economics commentaries. For English Literature, we study works from all over the world. And where I study, I get to go on a service trip to another country. Does all of this help in opening my mind about the world? You bet. 
• Belong in a close-knit community. In many schools around the world the IB community will always be a small one (unless it is an IB-only school). Where I study, there are 600 students for A-Levels and 60 for IB. A small community means you pretty much get to know everybody, and you'll be close to many of them. 

It's annoying when students who are considering the IB keep worrying about getting horrible grades. Yes, it's tougher than A-Levels and other programmes.  Yes, it is risky that you won't be able to score as well as A-Levels. Yes, it is entirely possible to fail if you don't put in the work required. It is just like any other academic programme. There is just a lot more to it than exams. If you're not prepared, don't screw up yourself by taking IB. That is the truth.

Only take IB if you would like to accept a challenge, enjoy a great experiencce and become a much better person in the end. Don't come if you only care about grades. You'll be sorely disappointed because in IB, the more you worry about grades, the less rewards you'll be able to reap. But if you embrace it with an open heart and an open mind that a perfect 45 is not everything, then you will gain the most benefits yet. :)

First Post of 2015!

It's a New Year and I'm back here! To be honest I always have things to blog about running through my mind, but most of the time I'm either too tired, or have something to rush, or is doing some other hobby, or am out.

So I've abandoned this place for awhile, and judging from the coming months of IB horror I don't think I'll be here much until after my finals (I'll definitely be around more often after May) and I guess I'll be updating all the backlogs here by then.

May 2015 be blessed with sparkling joy!

Things have changed quite a bit since I last posted (when ah? September omg I've been MIA for 3 months) and I'm here to update the important bits, since this place functions partly as a diary as well. I've been procrastinating as usual on work, but I managed to rush some of them out in November right before December holidays, so I GUESS I'm still on track, but I haven't started my EE, as in start writing, and Ms N wants the whole thing tomorrow so maybe this will be my last post as I lay dying.

I'm quite sure I can finish my EE (as in, a good draft, not a draft that needs 5-6 times of correction like everybody else) in 2 weeks, but I need to finish all my other IAs so that I can concentrate D:

I'm doing good on the cosplaying side, attended Comic Fiesta 2014 in December. It was a total blast despite super sore feet and having to rush around on tight schedules, so I couldn't really see every booth, but there were so many people and even though most of my friends and groupmates met me for the first time, they literally ran across the place to hug me >3< I think it gave me a lot of motivation since the cosplay drama can be horrific and like in every community, there are mean people around :(

Here's a collage made by a friend of all my cosplays (except the bottom left) in 2014 :D

I didn't even know that I already did 7 characters :D I guess time really flies. I'm redoing Asuna's again though, since it was my second one and I sucked somewhat back then, and I really love her :D
I'll be cosplaying more characters (mostly from Love Live!) this year, and I really hope to meet more new and friendly people as well as being good at reselling my stuff so I can fund myself lolol.

In the university section, I've gotten four offers as of now from UK. Initially I wanted to apply to the US and Canada, but then offers started coming in so I supposed it didn't matter that much anymore that I apply elsewhere, and so I have only applied to the UK (also that I'm a huge sloth so I didn't even manage to prepare my certs and stuff for US lol)

I'm glad I applied early because I got my offers earlier, even though it didn't make any decisions easier to make. I've gotten Conditional Offers from:

• University of Edinburgh
• University College London
• King's College London
• Lancaster University

I got LU's first, but since that's one of my safeties, I didn't make a big deal out of it, but when I got Edin's offer I was shamelessly mini-screaming in the Student Success room LOL since I really like Edinburgh's course and not-big-city kind of place. Then I got King's College offer, which made me laugh because I applied for English Lang and Linguistics but mentioned nothing in my PS about English Lang since I applied Psychology and Linguistics for the other unis. And they sent me an offer which actually surprised me haha. Well I guess I get to back out of Psych if need to :P

UCL just sent in their offer (like, a week ago) and I was actually happy because UCL has the best tailored course to my liking (as in almost every unit they make me study is useful for my future pursuits instead of general shiz that has nothing to do with life, like, you know, integration.)

And then Oxford sent me an invitation for interview, which surprised me so much that I literally died and came back alive because I wasn't expecting for an invitation. It's not that I don't think I've got the potential, but more like I applied half-assedly because there was one more space in UCAS and I don't have any other universities in mind, so it's more like "hey, let's yolo and try Oxbridge".

Initially I wanted to apply to Cambridge because they sent their reps here to conduct interviews, and the counsellors from University Placement suck in the sense that nobody can confirm that Oxford offers Skype interviews. Anyway the college sucks a second time by putting the internal deadline one whole month earlier than the actual deadline, so I missed it (and even though I already finished all the forms and COPA and shiz they still don't let me apply even though I missed only by a week).

So I ended up applying to Oxford without really thinking too much about it. I was even like "if they don't let me Skype, I'm not going then". lol. I didn't really include it in my future plans, but instead put Edin and UCL as my most interested plans. I even yolo through the preliminary tests. One of the reasons why I had wanted Cambridge was because they don't ask you to sit for tests first, but Oxford screens you with quite-expensive tests, which for me were TSA and MLAT. TSA is a Thinking Skills test with 60 questions (which I didn't finish) and a TOK-ish essay (which I had no idea what I was writing, something about "how sure are you if reality is not another dream?"). MLAT on the other hand is (for me) a Linguistics test, which I didn't finish in time but manage to scribble some shot-in-the-dark answers. MLAT was fun though.

I won't go into detail about the interviews right now because it's 3am and college starts tomorrow, but it was a horrible and awesome experience at the same time. I'll update again about it (I think it deserves a post on its own because the fun part was really fun), but I walked away feeling that I won't be surprised with either decision (accepted/rejected) and that it's kinda a 50% chance. I'm not sure what they base me on since I'm pretty sure my test results suck (and there everyone is worrying about tests on the forums lol) so I guess I'd like to think that my PS helped a lot, since that's the only part I really put effort into.

The decision will come on 7th of July (tomorrow technically since it's now 3am) and even though I won't be surprised either way, I'll still be ultra nervous while opening my mailbox (UCAS never helps by putting the subject as "SOMETHING HAS CHANGED ON YOUR TRACK" orz). And I'll be equally delighted/disappointed either way, I suppose I am human after all LOL.

I suppose that's all I'll be writing tonight, I'm going to snooze now so that I can face Ms N with a straight face tomorrow and tell her I have no EE to show. Oh well. At least Mr K will be happy that I finally send in my 8-month-delay Math IA (because I suck at Math).

P.S: I don't really have a habit of making New Year Resolutions haha. I suppose I will make a list if I have time tomorrow.
Gnight!