Don't Bother About IB If...

...you ONLY want good grades. Save yourself the time and go do other programmes that focus on grades.

I mean, I can't stress that IB is not for the faint-hearted enough. It's tough. It's challenging. It tests everything about you, your patience, your dedication, your perseverance, your teamwork, your time management. And if you ONLY care about good grades, unfortunately, you won't be able to make it...

even if you DO get good grades.

Why? Because the IB's aim is to shape you to become a better individual. It is never ONLY about academic excellence. Yes, exams still play a huge part in IB. But there are so many extra things, that if you only do them simply to get a 7, it is all pointless stress. Why torture yourself when you can get the equivalent with less work?

Time and time again I see "smart" Malaysian students running after As and A+s without actually loving the subjects they are studying, getting involved in clubs that only serve to boost their potential to get scholarships instead of being passionate about the activities. Their lives are fixed and dead. They have no choice, the path is set for them. Nothing else matters but going, no, racing against each other to get into the best universities. Taking a 2-year programme is considered stupid when you can take a 1-year one. Taking a gap year is a big no-no, it is unheard of in Malaysia, even if it is becoming a norm elsewhere.

As hard as IB sounds is, it offers me (and you, if you're considering it) a chance to get out of this fixed pathway. I don't want to compete against others to rush into a university. I do want to get into my dream university (note it might not be the best university), but I want to do so at my own time, at my own pace, when I'm ready. I didn't take a gap year for many reasons, one of them being that I need motivation and a driving force, and if I stay at home I'll only be wasting time slacking. And I believe that taking IB has allowed me to:

• Be independent. Living 364km (4 hours drive) away from home, in the urban city of Kuala Lumpur means I have to be independent and learn how to take care of myself without parents looking out for me. This ensures I'll be good to go once I'm ready to leave for UK or other countries, depending on which university I'm going later.
• Be independent again. The syllabus is designed such that students make many decisions for themselves. A lot of freedom is given to us: it starts off with picking our subjects, and then going on to forming our own IA topics and essay titles. Teachers are not allowed to guide us too much, all of it should be our own work. This is good as it stops spoon-feeding right there and prepare us for university life.
• Get used to assignments that actually count. University is not all exams. There are stuff like thesis and assignments that you have to do over the years, especially if you're going to universities in the US. So having many assignments that count toward the final grade helps prepare me for a smoother transition into university: I won't have to worry so much!
• Be an active and passionate participant in other stuff! Chances are, if you're in A-Levels and you're studying in Asian countries, you will tend to focus too much on academic stuff. You won't be bothering about other activities because they don't matter. In IB, there are compulsory hours, but it quickly becomes more fun and less work as you can do about anything you like, and you may discover something new that you really enjoy. 
• Choose the subjects that I like. If you're like me, you won't be happy with doing all sciences, or all arts. There will be that one subject that you dislike. Good news is that IB lets you choose one subject from each Group, so you can pick that subject you like best only. This is awesome especially if you have never been given a choice before.
• Be more conscious of the world. I don't know about other programmes, but IB is pretty global. For example, we can't just limit ourselves to UK and US in our Economics commentaries. For English Literature, we study works from all over the world. And where I study, I get to go on a service trip to another country. Does all of this help in opening my mind about the world? You bet. 
• Belong in a close-knit community. In many schools around the world the IB community will always be a small one (unless it is an IB-only school). Where I study, there are 600 students for A-Levels and 60 for IB. A small community means you pretty much get to know everybody, and you'll be close to many of them. 

It's annoying when students who are considering the IB keep worrying about getting horrible grades. Yes, it's tougher than A-Levels and other programmes.  Yes, it is risky that you won't be able to score as well as A-Levels. Yes, it is entirely possible to fail if you don't put in the work required. It is just like any other academic programme. There is just a lot more to it than exams. If you're not prepared, don't screw up yourself by taking IB. That is the truth.

Only take IB if you would like to accept a challenge, enjoy a great experiencce and become a much better person in the end. Don't come if you only care about grades. You'll be sorely disappointed because in IB, the more you worry about grades, the less rewards you'll be able to reap. But if you embrace it with an open heart and an open mind that a perfect 45 is not everything, then you will gain the most benefits yet. :)

The Truth: My Childhood UK Dream

Blyan's drawing when he had the word England in Draw Something 2
I would have drawn that when I first had a childish vision of my future, at 6. :3

Meh. Too busy, so any further tutorials will have to wait (since I need to plan them out, as opposed to just writing here like now..) I am bogged down by so many problems that I can't function without constantly worrying about shit. And the cherry on top is none other than university applications. First step: I need to stop lying to myself.

So I have this funny friend who kept battling with herself between a medical degree (which her family wants) and an art degree (which she wants and has talent for) for ages and ages. She sought friends out to talk about it, but I always knew it was just to hear herself speak her mind. She doesn't need advice; she already has a clear choice consciously muddled by herself. Brainwashing herself wasn't successful; she ended up completely certain doing medicine is ultimate bullshit (no matter how she convinced herself that she loves the profession and helping sick people) and wasted time, energy and money.

I thought that was pretty foolish, but now that I think about it, I supposed I am rather like my friend. Not sure if this is an INFJ trait or what, but we tend to talk ourselves into the most ludicrous things, and we end up never truly trusting ourselves anyway because we know better than us about ourselves (what?) and regret not following our feelings. Since, you know, we're F. I don't think we really trust our own feelings (which leads to our downfall).

Old reprint of the book. Nowadays cover illustrations are more modern, but lack the feel..

A 6-year-old me would cheerfully tell me that believing I would love US more than UK is the most ridiculous thing I can tell myself. It took only two words that I came across in an article about Harry Potter to slap me back to reality: Malory Towers. I supposed most people will have never heard of it, but it's one of my favourite book series by Enid Blyton about life in a boarding school. And I didn't just love school stories either - my entire childhood unfolds in front of me: sticking my nose into every single Enid Blyton book I can find in my mother's school library since I was six. All through four years of studying in the same compound (my elementary school and my mom's high school are built on the same grounds) means carrying books up to my chest every week back home from the library. It was Enid Blyton, then J.K Rowling, and later, Agatha Christie. Of course there were also C.S Lewis, Malcolm Saville, Roald Dahl and a bunch of random classics.

Even though I do read American books like Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys and like them, the majority of books I was exposed to ever since I could read were British. As such I have read many different genres as well - adventure, mystery, school life, fantasy, crime...and of course the lovable short stories by Enid Blyton (I owe my love of reading to her). And because 50% of my life used to be dedicated to reading (especially when the Internet was mostly only for adults at work, cost the ceiling and children were not allowed to use it), it would be quite true to say that my childhood is spent half in Malaysia, and half in 20th century England.

The modern version of England

And having said all that it isn't far-fetched to deduce that my dream has always been going to the UK. I come from a fairly well-off middle class family who prides itself on being careful with money. I have never been to anywhere outside of Southeast Asia, not even Australia, let alone UK. A holiday there is expensive, and my parents have always told me this: "When you grow up, you study hard, get a scholarship, then you can go to the UK. And if you wish, you can also travel around Europe as a bonus during summer holidays."

And as such I have looked forward to achieving my dream, working and toiling over all the exams, all the hurdles, staring UPSR, PMR, SPM dead in the face and feeling like I could never make it after all at each point in life. I supposed rich people who get to go everywhere they like every holiday (like the kids at my college) wouldn't understand; after all they can just ask and get to fly the very next day. But for me, it would be a dream come true, something that I have wanted all my life. Something that I strive for all this while in the long run.

And so even though I understand how wonderfully liberal a US education is and how flexible they are with majors and course structures, and it would be really exciting for me to be able to pick every single course that I would like to study, I couldn't bring myself to love it over the opportunity to finally go to the UK. Of course, one might say that I can always travel on my own later, but it isn't the same as living and breathing the place everyday for a few years. One might say too, that it wouldn't be the same as it was in early 20th century, and there will be more skyscrapers than rolling green hills. But there still are plains and meadows and hills, and cottages and farms and rustic buildings in the suburbs. And they are all authentically English; not somewhere in the world to make up for the real deal that I read about.

This was Enid Blyton's home, Old Thatch :D
The place where she wrote two of my most favourite series ever: Wishing Chair and Magic Faraway Tree

Oh I like US, it's a fascinating place where everything's happening, and I'd really like to visit Seaworld, and Disneyland, and Universal Studios. I'd like to walk along the streets of New York, feel the Californian sunshine and be dazzled by the lights in Las Vegas. I really wouldn't mind having fun in the US and going to all the parks, entertainment and natural alike. Which is why I am applying to three or four universities in the US too, just to be safe.

But I have been lying to myself for too long. Everyone has been dissing UK's education, how rigid and uncompromising it is, how unfriendly and stiff the British are, and how US is the smarter, better choice. There is no better choice. There are only love and dreams, just like how my friend has always wanted to study in New York, how my senior has always wanted to go to Harvard, and how I have always wanted to live a British life, eat good scones with strawberry jam, have sandwiches instead of tortillas, find out how treacle on porridge taste like, and talk about nothing but the weather. I don't need to lie to myself and say I'm passionate about one thing when it's another thing I really want.

Lol I didn't expect this to be so long, and I still have a bio lab conclusion to write. So I'll end it here..this is just my personal little rant on myself. I didn't like how I was lying to myself and trying to tell myself US is as good as UK..when it isn't in my heart. Obviously if I end up going to the US I'll fall in love with the place, get used to the over-enthusiastic Americans, love huge portions of food, and start to watch baseball (and god forbid, call it football!). I'm a pretty adaptable person once I get over myself in my head. But I need not be a sheep and follow the typical IB student (except for aspiring medical students) whose dream is to pursue a US education. I am grateful for the encouragement to go there, but first, I need to try and reach my dream. :)

I'll feel better if I accept that this is what I really want, and go for it. Even if I don't end up in UK (and end up in US or Canada), I'll still feel better because I know that I've been truthful to myself and I did my best. :3

And I'm applying to Scotland! Degrees in Scotland universities take four years, have a much more flexible structure than traditional UK degrees, allow students to pick courses and specialise only in the second year. And best of all, Scotland is just next door to England, not a world away. And it is still considered the UK. :P

I'm coming.

Shirin Neshat - The Art of Hope

“...the knowledge that literature gives us: it enlarges our sense of human experience beyond the narrow limits within which we live our own lives, it takes us imaginatively into lives and parts of the world far different from our own. It can give us understanding of others unlike ourselves, and possibly opens us to caring.” 

 -Theory of Knowledge Textbook

Hmm. I don't have much thoughtful stuff to post lately. I only post events usually which are mostly half-baked because I don't have the time to polish them to perfection. Hence I shall post up something I wrote for my TOK (Theory of Knowledge) class. It's something like thinking skills, or perhaps a little of philosophy, and to me it's kinda boring at times because I'm not interested (although I do like theoretical abstract philosophy stuff). 

So for this assignment we had to choose a particular work of art and relate it to the quote above. Note: I chose the first photograph to write an essay on. Subsequent photographs are used as dividers for blocks of text only. So all the references will be made toward the first photograph.

Here's my piece:

I have selected photography, in particular Shirin Neshat's photography of Middle Eastern women and their lives. Photography is the most realistic work of art one can get to reality, and to be able to accurately capture the moment, a photographer not only has to perfect his photography skills such as controlling the amount of light that goes into the camera and the angles he has to shoot from, he has to also be quick in pressing the shutter, lest the moment is gone. It is unlike art, where the subject can be there for as long as the artist wants, or like theatre and dance, where the performances are practised to perfection. Photography is, for most of the time, a matter of a couple of seconds.

Having said that, there are also portrait and landscape photography, where the subject will not be gone in a flash, but the techniques to capture the desired feel. War photographers and photographers working in other countries bring us pictures of knowledge: from the photographs, we can see the vibrancy of other cultures, the sufferings of war-stricken countries, and the differences between each and every part of the world. Through actual situations captured in frames, we can understand the world further—how others live, work and play, and this brings us closer to them without even stepping foot on their home soil.

The reason for choosing Shirin Neshat's photograph to elaborate further on the quote above is due to her poignant, often stark representations of Middle Eastern women and their sufferings. She is an Iranian visual artist who lives in New York, and her works are mainly on film, video and photography. Unlike other Middle Eastern families, Neshat's parents had modern and westernised views, and her father encouraged her daughters to be an individual and to see the world, and Neshat was sent to college along with her siblings. When she returned to Iran after her studies, she was appalled at the change in Iranian culture, which serves the basis of her future artworks.

Her earliest works were photographs, for example the Unveiling from 1993 and Women of Allah from 1993-1997. Her photographs explore feminism themes related to Islamic views, especially those in Iran. To cope with the differences between the culture she was raised in and the one she experienced much later after the Iran Revolution, she developed a series of portrait photographs of women, on which the visible parts of their bodies (such as faces and hands) were entirely inscribed with Persian calligraphy. The interesting part about her photographs is that Neshat is not the photographer; rather, she is the model in the photos, posing for the pictures. Her photographs are taken by a Cynthia Preston, in shades black and white, and she would overlay them with Farsi text afterward.

In the photograph attached, the Muslim woman in the picture is looking straight at the camera, armed with a long thin stick as if defending herself. However, she is still wearing traditional, plain black clothing that almost fully covers herself, and the posture can be interpreted as a univesal sign for silence. Her gaze, while brave enough to stare directly at the lens, looks like she has given up and is tired. The paradox in the photograph suggests that beneath the surface, the reality is far more complex. Her face is completely over-written with text from poetry by contemporary Iranian female poets on the subject of the role of women in the Revolution. This gives the photograph a sense of hope: that despite strict and unfair restrictions on women, there is still hope through literature by women poets of the country.

Through the photographs, I have come to appreciate not only the technical beauty of photography, but also my own feelings and interpretation when I look at them, not to mention the intentions of the artist and the photographer in offering these artworks to the world. The difference between Iranian culture and Malaysian culture is a world apart, hence my knowledge through the photos expands beyond where I live. I have come to understand more about the culture of Middle East, especially on their women, and this has helped me immensely on one of the books I am also doing for the World Literature component in English HL in the IB. The interest to know further has also motivated me to find more information about it online, and as the culture there is far more restrictive than Malaysian culture on social norms, I also begin to appreciate my own country's culture.

First Sniff on Universities

*sniffs*

So half of sem 2 is gone. ._. it's incredibly scary that time is passing SO fast. The mid-sem report has once again come in. I got a 40/42. :)
Got 7s for everything except English (which falls back to a 5). I misinterpreted the unseen text ENTIRELY wrong. :(
Now that there's only one more examination left toward my predicted grades, it goes without saying that I have to buck up on my English. Plus this is only mid-sem, I'm still very unsure about all my Higher Levels. :(  haih. How can one ever be sure about anything.

I guess I must start sniffing around universities for real, as I have to apply around September?
I'm very (like veryyy) set on a linguistics degree. Well I actually want to do speech therapy. But UK universities (the ones that I'm looking at) don't offer a specific speech therapy degree as an undergraduate course. The closest I can find is linguistics. But linguistics is not speech therapy. So I'm confused.

Do I go for the specific course that I want, or do I study a more general field in the country that I want? Cause there is a speech degree at HKU, but I've always wanted to go UK, and indeed it is exactly that dream that motivated me to get scholarships to go. So it would probably feel like a let-down if I didn't go there. :/

I've got all the UK universities in that JPA list that offer linguistics or something very close to it narrowed down during the holidays.

• Cambridge -Linguistics
• Edinburgh -Linguistics /Linguistics&Psychology /Linguistics&EnglishLanguage
• UCL -Psychology & Language Sciences /Linguistics
• Warwick -Language, Culture & Communication
• Lancaster -Linguistics /Linguistics&EnglishLanguage

I'm only interested in the first three though. Oxbridge is because of its reputation and architecture (I love ancient, traditional buildings!). Edinburgh is probably my most hoped-for university because its linguistics programme is consistently one of the best in UK (and I think the world?), and recently ranked first, topping Oxbridge. And also because it's very pretty and is significantly more possible for me to get in. UCL is great too, they have an actual psych and speech sciences degree (which is the closest I can get). If I get both UCL and UoE, it would be really hard for me to decide lolz.
But I guess I'll be applying to all of them since I have five spots in the UCAS. :)

(Manchester offers Linguistics too, but apparently they do not accept English Literature HL. They want English Literature and Language HL. Zzz)

I can't apply for Aussie anymore, cause the timing is very different. I'm a bit sad cause I wanted to try USyd or UQ, but I guess it's not going to happen. And I'm not going to apply to US (I'm quite, quite sure) cause I've always wanted to go to UK and the US application system is too demanding for me to care (esp as it's not my first choice you see).

Actually I don't even know why I'm taking IB. There's university advanced credits given to IB students with good grades in Aussie, US and HK, and I'm going somewhere where they don't really care about the difficulty of IB =.=
Sometimes I think I'm better off studying A-Levels and stop tormenting myself.
But then I'm not doing it for advanced credits, I'm doing it for myself, so that's invalid anyway lol.

It would be risky to only apply to UK, cause they might all reject me or something :'(
I hate how they all gave offers so late next year cause then if I don't hold any offer, I'm doomed. .__.
Or I might stupidly have firm and insurance choices with the same conditional offers. =.=
:(
I'm worrieds! Time to work really really hard on all those IAs .____.

The Outsider/The Stranger by Albert Camus - Book Review

I'll be frank. It is not a happy story.

But if I am taking the time to post a review on it, you can be sure I think very highly of this book.
And no, I don't like sad stories that make me cry. But I think this book deserves a read because it is thought-provoking long after I have finished the book.

Of course, I had to read it as it is one of the prescribed works for my IB English Literature class.

To start off, the thin volume is authored by Albert Camus, an Algerian writer and a Nobel Prize winner for Literature. His books are originally in French. My copy of The Outsider was translated by a Joseph Lorendo. Here one must take a moment to ponder: is the reaction toward the story due to the words and sentence structures that elicit the feelings from the readers, or is it due to the plot and the characters in general? Does the content actually matter more than the way and medium in which it is presented?

I say both.
Granted, Camus is still the author of the novel, he did not pass the plot idea to Lorendo and make him write it. However, Lorendo must have, during the process of translation, infuse some of his ideas and writing techniques into it. But then when the effect it created is so positively profound in the reader, is there any need to debate on who owns the effect? No.

Anyway the novel starts off deceivingly boring enough. We are introduced to the protagonist in a most unsightly manner: the death of his mother. But this is essential, for we are quickly shown the indifference-to-the-world side of Meursault. The opening line "Mother has died today. Or yesterday. I do not know" will have at once capture the reader's attention and, at the very least, gotten their confusion or mild surprise. His mother has died. Does he not care enough to know when?

The plot continues on in a monotonous fashion: he goes to his mother's funeral without crying even once, returns home feeling not grief but annoyance, passes his weekends with Marie and by himself. We are also introduced to his workplace, his neighbours and their lives, all through the protagonist's close, and perhaps cold, observation. At this point, we can see that Meursault is not retarded; in fact he is intelligent and precise in all his detailed observations. However, I must say I felt a bit creeped out by him initially because he seem to lack feelings. He could probably tell you what the clouds look like yesterday morning, but he will not be able to answer how he feels about his mother's death. Yes, it is indeed unfortunate, he will say. But it is only natural for her to die, so why should I cry?

The plot runs on where his neighbour Raymond asked him to write a letter to his mistress to make her feel bad, and even asked him about his opinion on his plan to abuse her. Afterwards when the Arab brother of Raymond's mistress and his friends followed Raymond, Meursault and the others to where they were holidaying, Meursault shot the mistress' brother with Raymond's gun, partly because he was too hot and was trying to get out of the sun, and partly because the Arab drew his knife when Meursault stepped forward. Meursault was then brought in by the police and questioned, but he was unable to explain what motives he had for killing; he didn't have any at all. The police deemed him to be cold-blooded and dangerous, and as he didn't want to cooperate with either the magistrate or the lawyer, he was sent to prison for some months before his trial.

This was probably the climax of the story, but I would think that there are two climaxes in the story, and this is the first one. Meursault kept rationalising his actions with "it was only natural" or "naturally", and he could not understand at all why other people should feel the way he didn't. He was truthful when he answered the magistrate and the lawyer, but they were either irritated or worried. Hence he is deemed a dangerous psychopath and put into prison to await his trial.

In the end, Meursault did not repent, but developed a kind of enlightenment in prison, after his trial (which focuses mostly on how he did not show any feelings at his mother's death instead of the murder). The chaplain visited him even though he did not want to see him, and the chaplain's patronising attitude made him fly into a rage and poured out his feelings. Here, the second climax is seen; the change in Meursault is drastic. We get to see his real thoughts at last when there is nothing else around him to distract him from. He finally looks inside and observe himself instead of his surroundings. And finally, he is released from his fear of the death that will be upon him.

The story is sad, with a lingering cliffhanger at the ending. We do not witness his execution, but we stopped following him during his last few moments on earth, in this society that does not understand him. Is he a culprit or a victim of himself? Camus' afterword (which was the preface in the original French version), referred to Meursault as the man who does not play the game because he does not lie, and he prefers to be truthful about himself and his feelings. Hence he is viewed as a dangerous outsider, someone who does not conform to the society just because he refuses to say more than what he feels. He is executed primarily because he does not show feelings at his mother's funeral.

There is a monotonous, indifferent and somehow logical tone in the book, with a passionate end. The shift is apparent, emphasising the change in Meursault, yet he does not change, but merely stressing his logic. Was it an enjoyable read? Well I couldn't say for sure, but it sure is thought-provoking. Are we all not normal in a logical way? And yet, emotion is the very thing that bonds humans together and bring about evolution from a prehistoric caveman to a modern man with values.

In any case, the book is interesting and deceptively simple, but in the few pages lies a very important message of existentialism and absurdism. This is very possibly not the whole truth, but it is not, too, unworthy of attention and thought. Love The Outsider, which resonates with me long after I'm done. The only novel worth my time so far in IB English Lit. And I shall end with a quote from Camus in the book:

Lying is not only saying what isn't true. It is also, in fact especially, saying more than is true and, in the case of the human heart, saying more than one feels. -Albert Camus

The Big Question for MOE Bursary Scholars: IBDP Aye or Nay?

This post is updated! Why "updated"? Because this post is now from an experienced me. Of course I'm not as experienced as my good seniors, but it is definitely an update from THIS one that I wrote a year ago when I got the scholarship and proceeded to mull over the very important matter.

And yes, people, it is VERY important. It is life or death.

You do NOT want to end up in deep shit because you chose the wrong course.
^ This especially applies to people who got into IB and decided that it is Hell's middle name.

This, to me, sums up IB.

Anyway. I don't usually proactively offer help to people, or hang around Facebook answering a million questions. I guess it's good enough on my part to offer a post on how to decide in this 3 months (it took me that long, like seriously, it was a week before the bursary deadline when I applied).

My current batch of IB students has 30+ of us (about 34?) although we started about 38 of us. 3 of us dropped after one semester. So yeah. However according to some of the student ambassadors, many more students applied for IB this year, presumably because of our senior Eleasha's successful offer to study at Harvard (which was a big piece of national news). But before you rush to apply in the hope of getting into the most prominent Ivy League university, do you think IB is for you?

So here's a few facts about me:

• I'm an MOE Bursary Scholar, took SPM in Dec 2012, got 9A+, got the Bursary in 2013
• I'm currently an IB junior at Taylor's College Sri Hartamas, enrolled in July 2013
• My course is for 2 years, will be sitting for finals in May 2015.
• I stay in the hostel accommodation provided.

Why TCSH:

Disclaimer: I am not in any way paid by Taylor's to say all this. I am in all honesty giving my holy opinions, including the goods and the bads. 

It is convenient. My accommodation is just across the road, 1 minute to college if you're lucky, 5 minutes if you're unlucky like me and got Block E, which is the furthest block. Still it was really close and I don't have to face jams every time I want to get to school. This means I can wake up late and still get there in time. Major bonus point right! And we have weekly cleaners. BUT: it's fixed so yeah. 

It is modern. I haven't seen another private college having escalators as staircases (probably because we're in an office/shop building). I love it because this means I can lug my heavy bag up two floors without going crazy. The facilities and furniture and stuff are really new and polished too, since the campus only started since 2009. This means we get to use newer, not-vandalised-yet stuff! BUT: no cafeteria. Food choices limited to outside food which are mostly expensive (but there are cheaper options too!)

Taylor's reputation. As shallow and superficial as you might think it is, it's not. Yes Taylor's is rich, expensive, and spends on advertisements like nobody's business. But it's free for us, so since finance isn't an issue, why not go for the biggest and brightest college there is? They have consistent good results too. Now before you bash me up about how other colleges are good too, I know, I get it, and you will know that I've been to many of them if you read my earlier posts. Hence I'm choosing TCSH based on all criterias, not just the reputation. BUT: Taylor's known for A-Levels, not really IB.

And now, why IB:

1. I have no idea.

2. Repeat 1.

Like seriously. Well I did have valid reasons for choosing IB in my earlier post HERE, but all of that didn't really matter. I might want six different subjects that I could never do with A-Level combos, want a better education, find the idea of 25% coursework grade interesting, think EE is something I would enjoy, give me an edge for US universities, yadda yadda yadda, but at the end of the day when you're faced with shitloads of IB stuff you just want to throw your head in and give up and nothing that I mentioned matters anymore. 

That was the point when everyone regretted their decision and wanted desperately to change to A-Levels.

Don't get me wrong, IBDP is a wonderful course with a great philosophy: a balanced education for a balanced, global student. I love the course, the fact that I can choose all the subjects I love instead of packages that I have to take, which may not be the ones I like or suitable for my future degree.

Goods of IBDP:

• A wonderful, wonderful experience when you don't look at the amount of work you have.
• You get to go to another country for a service programme! Mine's Cambodia. You get to run charity sales, loads of fun activities that you can choose from to complete your CAS hours. 
• Depending on who your coursemates are and how they are like, chances are you will be much more able to form strong relationships with them than in A-Levels. The IB community is the most close-knit among the three programmes offered here.
• Depends on your subjects, sometimes you get experienced teachers who make your subject interesting and easy to learn.
• Again depending on your subjects, you get REALLY small classes, ranging from 2-20 people, so it's much easier to concentrate in class.
• Good edge for applying to universities, especially in the US where they value a well-rounded experience. Not that good for UK cause they don't really recognise IB much as in their offers are known to be unfairly higher than A-Levels, so you'd be better off doing A-Levels (although we might see a little change in the future)

Bads of IBDP:

• Depending on your subjects, sometimes your teachers keep changing. Although this probably just due to the college issues, nothing to do with IB.
• The workload is scary shit. No joke. We all thought we'd be fine and disregard any warnings from our seniors, but now, 3 months to being a senior myself, I'm dying. There's just so much to do that sometimes I don't know where to start. Excellent time management helps a lot. 
• Deadlines are horrible. You get everything thrown onto the same deadline, so knowing what to do when is IMPORTANT.
• CAS paperwork is annoying. Even though I like writing, having to write reflections for every activity I do gets stale.
• Teacher experience. You might find that you will need to rely on yourself for some of the subjects, as some of the teachers have little to no IB background, although they will be eager to help you, I find that being independent is very important as I couldn't feel secure in some of my subjects. 
• Expenses. Bursary might cover all of your tuition fees, but it doesn't cover your textbooks (which can go up to more than RM2000), graphic calculator, travelling expenses and whatnot.

And here's some interesting things you might want to know about:

• You get your allowance every 6-months (meaning they will pay you RM2000+ at once) but it takes forever for them to bank in, so it's like you only get your Jan-June money in March.
• Accommodation is provided but fixed and it depends on which college you go to, some may be walking distance while others require shuttle buses (extremely annoying esp in KL, best to avoid to save your time)
• Extremely expensive to stay in the Sri Hartamas area. The MOE allowance will not be enough, so be prepared to fork out some more money if you're to stay here all the time (if you're from other states especially and can't go home.)

Would I recommend this to anyone? Well, I guess it depends. I know some people who will love this and will be determine enough to persevere through this so they can reap its ultimately better rewards, but I also know some people who just can't do so much at a time and will be easily demotivated if there's too much work. 

My answer would be only you know what you are capable of. If you'd like to come here and be a junior, you're very much welcome. But remember, be fully prepared of the things that you have to do. However if you can go through 2 years of this, you'll definitely be more prepared for university and gain many skills and friends that will last you through life. :)

Would I have reconsidered?

Sometimes when the going gets tough, I have regretted. 

But ultimately I haven't and will not give up as I'm already into this and will do anything to see this through and pass the IB hurdle! :)

And I think it's worth it, though it may be psychologically biased. HAHA.

Feel free to ask me any questions below. :) I might take awhile to get back to you though, all in the name of IB. :3

Semester Number 2 of IB

Felt like I've been hit by a truck. :/

I've only been at school three days, mind you.
Everyone looks apprehensive at the start of college. The past sem hasn't treated us very well, collectively speaking.

I've got 7s in Psych, Bio and French, and 6s in Econs, English and Maths.
So I got relatively fine results based on how little I actually consistently studied (never been one to stick with consistency), but a lot of other people fell short of their ideal results. Two of my classmates dropped IB, a third thought of it but returned to continue.

Some of them look quite depressed. .__.
IB people are an indecisive bunch really. Quite a few of them changed their subjects, and many considered changing. Mar dropped Theatre and changed to Chemistry. B dropped to Math SL and changed Theatre to HL. (yay now we have 3 classes in common!)

I'm still considering whether to take up Bio HL or not. Yes? No? Which is easier, Bio or Econs? I'm not gonna drop Psych since I finished HL IA already, and English is a definite no. 4 HLs right now would be too much to take (considering all forms of IAs coming in at this point), but if I do it in the 3rd sem, would it be too late?

*confused*

Speaking of IAs, I'm already bogged down by them. ._. All of the lecturers (except for French), have already spoken about it. I've completed one and handed in as my first draft, but I'm sure there must be some corrections to make. I've found topics and materials for some, and the rest I'm still in a blur. Doesn't help that some of the lecturers look blurer than me. :(
We have a new Math SL lecturer, who looks enthusiastic and willing to help us out, but he looks as confused as me about IAs. :/ tried googling, limited resources as this "exploration" thingy is a new format with first examinations in 2014. :(

The timetable is still almost the same, with 330pm classes every single day and four 830 classes. :(
No thanks to the subject combo of psych + econs that only applies to me in the whole of IB.
Oh well. Monday is as evil as ever, 7 classes with 5 straight ones. Tuesday isn't very good either, 6 classes with 4 straight. 4 classes on Wednesday, reasonable enough. Thursday is annoying as ever, four hours of break in between. :x And Friday, is reasonably spaced out with 5 classes.

I hate Mondays with legit, starving reasons.

And I'm already confused with the slight changes - I actually missed an Econs HL class because I honestly thought it was Business during that period of time.
And it already looks so busy...so many projects, assignments, homework, activities coming in, not to mention deadly important IAs and EE to think of.

The disorganised, couldn't-be-bothered me is trying to avoid as many distractions as possible. No to leading annoying assignments that I wouldn't even care about as an ordinary team member. No to heading dead clubs and be expected to come up with "fresh" activities when I'm wading through tons of work. My time is limited - I need to be smart and choose the right stuffs to concentrate on. If I heap too much on my plate, I'll just collapse and die at some point.

To-Do this sem:
1. Organised work into edible chunks and work on them properly.
2. Arrange study time (as in studying syllabus/doing IAs) every day.
3. Complete daily work on a daily basis
4. Be independent and proactive on own work, especially IA/EE.
5. Be smart when choosing what to take up and what not to.
6. Remember about CAS and monitor long-term activities.
7. Keep goals and university requirements in sight - I will get me there!
8. Spend time with friends worthy of your limited time, don't neglect social circle, however small.
9. Turn all this into good food for relationship: multitask and don't neglect B.
10. Stop procrastinating and start surviving.

*barely surviving*

Love,

Stress Gonna Hit Hard In A Week

I'm a happy-go-lucky person.

I don't stress out until the day stress hits.
As in I am not a chronic stressor. I am an acute stressor.
(psychology much. :x)

Anyways. People have been stressing out a lot these days while preparing for the start of the new semester. IB holidays are cool, they gave us a month in December and school starts in January, which is great 'cause it makes me feel like high school all over again and it feels kinda proper.

I have not been stressing out. In fact, I'm still having fun being addicted to Temple Run 2, lazing around in bed and not getting up before 2pm, so on and so forth.
I haven't done much of homework, for example psych essays, english commentary, econs IA and IOP are all waiting for me, not to mention research and reading of Woman At Point Zero.
(according to friends, it's graphic and very ew. I wonder how ew. Maus wasn't ew at all and people say it's graphically violent. I'm like, you disappoint me, Maus. .________.)

That said, I have finished my Psych IA entirely 101%. As in including the cover page and everything. I swear I spent more time cutting out stuff from it to fit the word count than writing and conducting it combined. :x
However, I'm still a bit unsure whether all the bits are proper or not though. I'll have to look around for someone to help me check it through.

And I've updated my CAS wiki, plus edited all the newsletter articles and written mine, and also attended 3 days of Myvillage camp. And I attended a high school class gathering. So I did do quite some stuff. :)
And I'm planning for the 4 days I'm gonna bring Nic, LeE and B around Penang. I'm stressed out over that because they're coming like tomorrow and I'm worried shitless that they might be bored or things might go wrong or something. :x
Mar and Laj gonna come too but Laj had dengue at the last minute so they're not coming anymore. Sads. Get well soon though :)

So we were trying to find people to come but all of them so very stressed out and doing their homework and stuff so they can't. Haih. Whys all kiasu people you tell me. :/
I would've asked my friends along if they didn't happen to be Penangites. :x
Oh well.
Oh yeah, I could've asked Myvillage peeps like the four-blooded guy and Nabil. Buts then it's soooo late already now. Bus leaving 9.30am tomorrow.
Never mind lahs. Double date it is.

Stress coming in a week when semester 2 starts again, so I might as well make full use of the next few days and enjoy moreeeees. :D

Okays now back to memorising all the bus routes................................................
Love,

TCSH Junior Prom 2013

Love this pic a lot with its dark, rich and vibrant colours.

Prom was a hugeeee success! :D
I'm part of the committee this year, because when I joined it in July I had nothing better to do. 

Little did I know it will cause me SO MUCH STRESS THAT I FREAK OUT EVERYDAY and SO MUCH HAPPINESS IN THE END. 

#ilovepromcommittee

So this post will be about my journey from the start until the end, with random photos with my good friends between each paragraphs because I can't help but pepper the long post with pictures and introducing the people in them. I have individual photos but I'm posting up mostly only group ones :)

Me, Alicia and LiYin having early dinner :)

So everyone was posting about their mushy mushy feelings on Facebook, and even though I have things to say, I just couldn't bring myself to say it on Facebook, hence I will post it up here. It has been a wonderful journey, even though the turning point was so drastic and sudden that everyone was stunned.

Kamil, Darren and Shi Wei. Darren is from ALevels while the other two are my IB classmates.

I joined the committee in July because I was bored and it sounded interesting. I was offered a place in Admin department, which is very much all the paperwork and stuff. The first meeting was kinda awkward, there were a huge bunch of us IB juniors and some A-Levels and three SAMs. As the planning progresses, we were okay with each other in our own department, but we didn't really bother about other departments and kept to ourselves. We messed up a lot of times too, for example in my department, we were always criticised on the forms and our systems and everyone said and suggested different things, which caused miscomunication and an extremely confusing registration and ticketing system.

Deanna, Ms Navina (EngLit), Ms MoiMoi (French), Jia Hui and Nic

Morale for the team went down the gutter and even us started not caring about the event at all. The sales kicked off with a slow start, with no one even knowing the early bird sales are on. People only found out during the last two days of the sales. Sales surged up suddenly, and we had to extend our early bird discount to a couple more days because we could not attract enough people to even start making money on our side.

Li Yin, Alicia, Abigail and I. We're housemates! :)

Attendance for booth duty was reasonably all right, but we were very passive. Ms D was extremely scary and cold during the first few months, to the extent that we were all really pissed with each other because no one was doing the things Ms D wanted right, and there was no motivation at all. The committee thing turned into a stress factor as we regretted even joining. It was a dark, dark month.

Ms D and the one photobombing behind me is Carine from ALevels.

This went on for, believe it or not, until a week before the event. At first we did not even break even with our financial status, and Ms D was so worried that she cancelled off most of our expenditure and dropped it from thousands to a mere few hundreds. We did not break even until two weeks before the event, and after that tables continued to come in, cash sponsors were obtained and we had around RM5000 profit.

Mr Lim, Econs teacher. :)

It was mostly thanks to everyone for pulling in friends and getting tables sold, as well as finding and asking sponsors to sponsor cash or items. It was very very hard work. Especially when there is an Avicii concert on the very night of the event.

Abigail, Eleasha, Li Yin, Nadiah and I. :)

The day of the event was awesome. If the months before were graded as a 3, that day graded 9. Everyone was so attuned with each other and things worked so well. Ms D didn't have to worry about a single thing and could actually relax and have fun with us all. The rehearsal went okay, and the event was even better. We all did what we did without having to be told, and no one had to be reminded. 

Mehehehe checking the registration lists to make sure it's correct.

The timing was perfect as we had everyone shepherded into the ballroom and the event started right on the dot. We actually ended an hour early. Everything was just so awesome, even though we had to have early dinner. There was a few hiccups along the way, such as a performer's stuff getting stuck inside a locked room right before her performance, some technical difficulties with the slides and the wrong crown given to the Prom King, everything was still very smooth.

ShinYin, Stephanie Siew, May Theng and I. Committee members, they are from ALevels.

By the way, the slideshows were extremely beautiful as the soundtracks used (Two Steps From Hell! OMG Abby I love you to death) were so dramatic that everyone fell silent and actually watched the slides instead of talking. The soundtracks caught everyone's attention. *fangirling over TSFH*

Tian Zhe from ALevels. My counsellor+math teacher+good friend :)

Oh and quite many IB seniors came too despite early refusal to attend. They looked wonderful despite staying up all night rushing their IAs, EEs, etc. And even though the IB community is the smallest among the three academic communities, our seniors actually won the awards for Prom King and Queen, even though there were Alevels and SAM finalists. Shows how popular our seniors are!

Alastair, Zunren, Visvar. At the back JingYi, Rachel and Cong. All of them are IB seniors.

And my senior buddy, Eleasha, won both the Prom Queen and All-Rounder IB award. She just can't get any more perfect. <3

Eleasha and KarYern :)

Winning Prom King and Queen, their first dance.

As B was also one of the photographers of the day, I had many photos taken of me even though I was supposed to be busy in the committee. :P I took photos with all the good friends I know from both IB and A-Levels. They are an awesome bunch!

Bryan, Mar, Laj, Le-e and Nic. :3 My best friends and their dates. Glad that we have this photo together!

Self-obsessed person must have a photo of self right? :P

My makeup was done by Rei, one of B's besties. She's very cute and helpful. :D She came specifically to help make me up. <3

Every time she did something she'll ask me to check at the mirror if this was how I wanted to look.

Bought my dress at Times Square for a hundred bucks and shoes for 80. Paid for by B. :3 Thanks soooo much! <3

Rei and I. :D

And of course, photos with my prom date. :P

People thought we were very sweet and many of them offered to help take our photos. Haha

My dress is too long for its own good.

:D

<3

I had a wonderful time during the prom and also being in the committee. During the post-mortem meeting, there was no words to describe how awesome the event went, despite all the obstacles and boulders. We even had a card writing session where everyone wrote something on everyone's cards. We certainly have come a long way since the awkward first day to the warm bonding between members on the last meeting. :)

(I'm not in this photo because I left early)

Will cherish this to the very bottom of my heart.

Love,