Don't Bother About IB If...

...you ONLY want good grades. Save yourself the time and go do other programmes that focus on grades.

I mean, I can't stress that IB is not for the faint-hearted enough. It's tough. It's challenging. It tests everything about you, your patience, your dedication, your perseverance, your teamwork, your time management. And if you ONLY care about good grades, unfortunately, you won't be able to make it...

even if you DO get good grades.

Why? Because the IB's aim is to shape you to become a better individual. It is never ONLY about academic excellence. Yes, exams still play a huge part in IB. But there are so many extra things, that if you only do them simply to get a 7, it is all pointless stress. Why torture yourself when you can get the equivalent with less work?

Time and time again I see "smart" Malaysian students running after As and A+s without actually loving the subjects they are studying, getting involved in clubs that only serve to boost their potential to get scholarships instead of being passionate about the activities. Their lives are fixed and dead. They have no choice, the path is set for them. Nothing else matters but going, no, racing against each other to get into the best universities. Taking a 2-year programme is considered stupid when you can take a 1-year one. Taking a gap year is a big no-no, it is unheard of in Malaysia, even if it is becoming a norm elsewhere.

As hard as IB sounds is, it offers me (and you, if you're considering it) a chance to get out of this fixed pathway. I don't want to compete against others to rush into a university. I do want to get into my dream university (note it might not be the best university), but I want to do so at my own time, at my own pace, when I'm ready. I didn't take a gap year for many reasons, one of them being that I need motivation and a driving force, and if I stay at home I'll only be wasting time slacking. And I believe that taking IB has allowed me to:

• Be independent. Living 364km (4 hours drive) away from home, in the urban city of Kuala Lumpur means I have to be independent and learn how to take care of myself without parents looking out for me. This ensures I'll be good to go once I'm ready to leave for UK or other countries, depending on which university I'm going later.
• Be independent again. The syllabus is designed such that students make many decisions for themselves. A lot of freedom is given to us: it starts off with picking our subjects, and then going on to forming our own IA topics and essay titles. Teachers are not allowed to guide us too much, all of it should be our own work. This is good as it stops spoon-feeding right there and prepare us for university life.
• Get used to assignments that actually count. University is not all exams. There are stuff like thesis and assignments that you have to do over the years, especially if you're going to universities in the US. So having many assignments that count toward the final grade helps prepare me for a smoother transition into university: I won't have to worry so much!
• Be an active and passionate participant in other stuff! Chances are, if you're in A-Levels and you're studying in Asian countries, you will tend to focus too much on academic stuff. You won't be bothering about other activities because they don't matter. In IB, there are compulsory hours, but it quickly becomes more fun and less work as you can do about anything you like, and you may discover something new that you really enjoy. 
• Choose the subjects that I like. If you're like me, you won't be happy with doing all sciences, or all arts. There will be that one subject that you dislike. Good news is that IB lets you choose one subject from each Group, so you can pick that subject you like best only. This is awesome especially if you have never been given a choice before.
• Be more conscious of the world. I don't know about other programmes, but IB is pretty global. For example, we can't just limit ourselves to UK and US in our Economics commentaries. For English Literature, we study works from all over the world. And where I study, I get to go on a service trip to another country. Does all of this help in opening my mind about the world? You bet. 
• Belong in a close-knit community. In many schools around the world the IB community will always be a small one (unless it is an IB-only school). Where I study, there are 600 students for A-Levels and 60 for IB. A small community means you pretty much get to know everybody, and you'll be close to many of them. 

It's annoying when students who are considering the IB keep worrying about getting horrible grades. Yes, it's tougher than A-Levels and other programmes.  Yes, it is risky that you won't be able to score as well as A-Levels. Yes, it is entirely possible to fail if you don't put in the work required. It is just like any other academic programme. There is just a lot more to it than exams. If you're not prepared, don't screw up yourself by taking IB. That is the truth.

Only take IB if you would like to accept a challenge, enjoy a great experiencce and become a much better person in the end. Don't come if you only care about grades. You'll be sorely disappointed because in IB, the more you worry about grades, the less rewards you'll be able to reap. But if you embrace it with an open heart and an open mind that a perfect 45 is not everything, then you will gain the most benefits yet. :)

First Post of 2015!

It's a New Year and I'm back here! To be honest I always have things to blog about running through my mind, but most of the time I'm either too tired, or have something to rush, or is doing some other hobby, or am out.

So I've abandoned this place for awhile, and judging from the coming months of IB horror I don't think I'll be here much until after my finals (I'll definitely be around more often after May) and I guess I'll be updating all the backlogs here by then.

May 2015 be blessed with sparkling joy!

Things have changed quite a bit since I last posted (when ah? September omg I've been MIA for 3 months) and I'm here to update the important bits, since this place functions partly as a diary as well. I've been procrastinating as usual on work, but I managed to rush some of them out in November right before December holidays, so I GUESS I'm still on track, but I haven't started my EE, as in start writing, and Ms N wants the whole thing tomorrow so maybe this will be my last post as I lay dying.

I'm quite sure I can finish my EE (as in, a good draft, not a draft that needs 5-6 times of correction like everybody else) in 2 weeks, but I need to finish all my other IAs so that I can concentrate D:

I'm doing good on the cosplaying side, attended Comic Fiesta 2014 in December. It was a total blast despite super sore feet and having to rush around on tight schedules, so I couldn't really see every booth, but there were so many people and even though most of my friends and groupmates met me for the first time, they literally ran across the place to hug me >3< I think it gave me a lot of motivation since the cosplay drama can be horrific and like in every community, there are mean people around :(

Here's a collage made by a friend of all my cosplays (except the bottom left) in 2014 :D

I didn't even know that I already did 7 characters :D I guess time really flies. I'm redoing Asuna's again though, since it was my second one and I sucked somewhat back then, and I really love her :D
I'll be cosplaying more characters (mostly from Love Live!) this year, and I really hope to meet more new and friendly people as well as being good at reselling my stuff so I can fund myself lolol.

In the university section, I've gotten four offers as of now from UK. Initially I wanted to apply to the US and Canada, but then offers started coming in so I supposed it didn't matter that much anymore that I apply elsewhere, and so I have only applied to the UK (also that I'm a huge sloth so I didn't even manage to prepare my certs and stuff for US lol)

I'm glad I applied early because I got my offers earlier, even though it didn't make any decisions easier to make. I've gotten Conditional Offers from:

• University of Edinburgh
• University College London
• King's College London
• Lancaster University

I got LU's first, but since that's one of my safeties, I didn't make a big deal out of it, but when I got Edin's offer I was shamelessly mini-screaming in the Student Success room LOL since I really like Edinburgh's course and not-big-city kind of place. Then I got King's College offer, which made me laugh because I applied for English Lang and Linguistics but mentioned nothing in my PS about English Lang since I applied Psychology and Linguistics for the other unis. And they sent me an offer which actually surprised me haha. Well I guess I get to back out of Psych if need to :P

UCL just sent in their offer (like, a week ago) and I was actually happy because UCL has the best tailored course to my liking (as in almost every unit they make me study is useful for my future pursuits instead of general shiz that has nothing to do with life, like, you know, integration.)

And then Oxford sent me an invitation for interview, which surprised me so much that I literally died and came back alive because I wasn't expecting for an invitation. It's not that I don't think I've got the potential, but more like I applied half-assedly because there was one more space in UCAS and I don't have any other universities in mind, so it's more like "hey, let's yolo and try Oxbridge".

Initially I wanted to apply to Cambridge because they sent their reps here to conduct interviews, and the counsellors from University Placement suck in the sense that nobody can confirm that Oxford offers Skype interviews. Anyway the college sucks a second time by putting the internal deadline one whole month earlier than the actual deadline, so I missed it (and even though I already finished all the forms and COPA and shiz they still don't let me apply even though I missed only by a week).

So I ended up applying to Oxford without really thinking too much about it. I was even like "if they don't let me Skype, I'm not going then". lol. I didn't really include it in my future plans, but instead put Edin and UCL as my most interested plans. I even yolo through the preliminary tests. One of the reasons why I had wanted Cambridge was because they don't ask you to sit for tests first, but Oxford screens you with quite-expensive tests, which for me were TSA and MLAT. TSA is a Thinking Skills test with 60 questions (which I didn't finish) and a TOK-ish essay (which I had no idea what I was writing, something about "how sure are you if reality is not another dream?"). MLAT on the other hand is (for me) a Linguistics test, which I didn't finish in time but manage to scribble some shot-in-the-dark answers. MLAT was fun though.

I won't go into detail about the interviews right now because it's 3am and college starts tomorrow, but it was a horrible and awesome experience at the same time. I'll update again about it (I think it deserves a post on its own because the fun part was really fun), but I walked away feeling that I won't be surprised with either decision (accepted/rejected) and that it's kinda a 50% chance. I'm not sure what they base me on since I'm pretty sure my test results suck (and there everyone is worrying about tests on the forums lol) so I guess I'd like to think that my PS helped a lot, since that's the only part I really put effort into.

The decision will come on 7th of July (tomorrow technically since it's now 3am) and even though I won't be surprised either way, I'll still be ultra nervous while opening my mailbox (UCAS never helps by putting the subject as "SOMETHING HAS CHANGED ON YOUR TRACK" orz). And I'll be equally delighted/disappointed either way, I suppose I am human after all LOL.

I suppose that's all I'll be writing tonight, I'm going to snooze now so that I can face Ms N with a straight face tomorrow and tell her I have no EE to show. Oh well. At least Mr K will be happy that I finally send in my 8-month-delay Math IA (because I suck at Math).

P.S: I don't really have a habit of making New Year Resolutions haha. I suppose I will make a list if I have time tomorrow.
Gnight!

The Truth: My Childhood UK Dream

Blyan's drawing when he had the word England in Draw Something 2
I would have drawn that when I first had a childish vision of my future, at 6. :3

Meh. Too busy, so any further tutorials will have to wait (since I need to plan them out, as opposed to just writing here like now..) I am bogged down by so many problems that I can't function without constantly worrying about shit. And the cherry on top is none other than university applications. First step: I need to stop lying to myself.

So I have this funny friend who kept battling with herself between a medical degree (which her family wants) and an art degree (which she wants and has talent for) for ages and ages. She sought friends out to talk about it, but I always knew it was just to hear herself speak her mind. She doesn't need advice; she already has a clear choice consciously muddled by herself. Brainwashing herself wasn't successful; she ended up completely certain doing medicine is ultimate bullshit (no matter how she convinced herself that she loves the profession and helping sick people) and wasted time, energy and money.

I thought that was pretty foolish, but now that I think about it, I supposed I am rather like my friend. Not sure if this is an INFJ trait or what, but we tend to talk ourselves into the most ludicrous things, and we end up never truly trusting ourselves anyway because we know better than us about ourselves (what?) and regret not following our feelings. Since, you know, we're F. I don't think we really trust our own feelings (which leads to our downfall).

Old reprint of the book. Nowadays cover illustrations are more modern, but lack the feel..

A 6-year-old me would cheerfully tell me that believing I would love US more than UK is the most ridiculous thing I can tell myself. It took only two words that I came across in an article about Harry Potter to slap me back to reality: Malory Towers. I supposed most people will have never heard of it, but it's one of my favourite book series by Enid Blyton about life in a boarding school. And I didn't just love school stories either - my entire childhood unfolds in front of me: sticking my nose into every single Enid Blyton book I can find in my mother's school library since I was six. All through four years of studying in the same compound (my elementary school and my mom's high school are built on the same grounds) means carrying books up to my chest every week back home from the library. It was Enid Blyton, then J.K Rowling, and later, Agatha Christie. Of course there were also C.S Lewis, Malcolm Saville, Roald Dahl and a bunch of random classics.

Even though I do read American books like Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys and like them, the majority of books I was exposed to ever since I could read were British. As such I have read many different genres as well - adventure, mystery, school life, fantasy, crime...and of course the lovable short stories by Enid Blyton (I owe my love of reading to her). And because 50% of my life used to be dedicated to reading (especially when the Internet was mostly only for adults at work, cost the ceiling and children were not allowed to use it), it would be quite true to say that my childhood is spent half in Malaysia, and half in 20th century England.

The modern version of England

And having said all that it isn't far-fetched to deduce that my dream has always been going to the UK. I come from a fairly well-off middle class family who prides itself on being careful with money. I have never been to anywhere outside of Southeast Asia, not even Australia, let alone UK. A holiday there is expensive, and my parents have always told me this: "When you grow up, you study hard, get a scholarship, then you can go to the UK. And if you wish, you can also travel around Europe as a bonus during summer holidays."

And as such I have looked forward to achieving my dream, working and toiling over all the exams, all the hurdles, staring UPSR, PMR, SPM dead in the face and feeling like I could never make it after all at each point in life. I supposed rich people who get to go everywhere they like every holiday (like the kids at my college) wouldn't understand; after all they can just ask and get to fly the very next day. But for me, it would be a dream come true, something that I have wanted all my life. Something that I strive for all this while in the long run.

And so even though I understand how wonderfully liberal a US education is and how flexible they are with majors and course structures, and it would be really exciting for me to be able to pick every single course that I would like to study, I couldn't bring myself to love it over the opportunity to finally go to the UK. Of course, one might say that I can always travel on my own later, but it isn't the same as living and breathing the place everyday for a few years. One might say too, that it wouldn't be the same as it was in early 20th century, and there will be more skyscrapers than rolling green hills. But there still are plains and meadows and hills, and cottages and farms and rustic buildings in the suburbs. And they are all authentically English; not somewhere in the world to make up for the real deal that I read about.

This was Enid Blyton's home, Old Thatch :D
The place where she wrote two of my most favourite series ever: Wishing Chair and Magic Faraway Tree

Oh I like US, it's a fascinating place where everything's happening, and I'd really like to visit Seaworld, and Disneyland, and Universal Studios. I'd like to walk along the streets of New York, feel the Californian sunshine and be dazzled by the lights in Las Vegas. I really wouldn't mind having fun in the US and going to all the parks, entertainment and natural alike. Which is why I am applying to three or four universities in the US too, just to be safe.

But I have been lying to myself for too long. Everyone has been dissing UK's education, how rigid and uncompromising it is, how unfriendly and stiff the British are, and how US is the smarter, better choice. There is no better choice. There are only love and dreams, just like how my friend has always wanted to study in New York, how my senior has always wanted to go to Harvard, and how I have always wanted to live a British life, eat good scones with strawberry jam, have sandwiches instead of tortillas, find out how treacle on porridge taste like, and talk about nothing but the weather. I don't need to lie to myself and say I'm passionate about one thing when it's another thing I really want.

Lol I didn't expect this to be so long, and I still have a bio lab conclusion to write. So I'll end it here..this is just my personal little rant on myself. I didn't like how I was lying to myself and trying to tell myself US is as good as UK..when it isn't in my heart. Obviously if I end up going to the US I'll fall in love with the place, get used to the over-enthusiastic Americans, love huge portions of food, and start to watch baseball (and god forbid, call it football!). I'm a pretty adaptable person once I get over myself in my head. But I need not be a sheep and follow the typical IB student (except for aspiring medical students) whose dream is to pursue a US education. I am grateful for the encouragement to go there, but first, I need to try and reach my dream. :)

I'll feel better if I accept that this is what I really want, and go for it. Even if I don't end up in UK (and end up in US or Canada), I'll still feel better because I know that I've been truthful to myself and I did my best. :3

And I'm applying to Scotland! Degrees in Scotland universities take four years, have a much more flexible structure than traditional UK degrees, allow students to pick courses and specialise only in the second year. And best of all, Scotland is just next door to England, not a world away. And it is still considered the UK. :P

I'm coming.