As It Nears

As SPM results nears,

I am

Nervous

Excited

Relieved

Worried

Tensed

Stressed

Scared

Afraid

Frightened

Depressed

I have

Nightmares

Butterflies in my stomach

No appetite

Horrible thoughts

Phobia of the future

Butterflies in stomach xD

I know I tried my best, I did study, I did put in a whole lot of effort, and I also know all the above are pointless. Doesn't stop me from feeling all that though. 

Trying to distract myself. Which is easy because I don't even know what date or day it is anymore. >.< Sad case. ╮(╯▽╰)╭

My future. Any thoughts on it? I went to Chung Ling's Education Exhibition a few days ago, my first visit to an exhibition this year. I asked for specific information for like 20 minutes out of the 2 hours we were there, then walked around with no sense of direction because I knew everything that I wanted to know already.

While waiting for a few friends, I struck up a chat with a booth representative. I think it was the Study Excel booth, you know those education counselling stuff, people who help with all your study arrangements? Actually I was not interested at all but since I had plenty of time (everyone still asking stuff), I chatted casually to this guy.

Turns out he studied law! OMG. So I asked him about the whole experience and everything. One of the most LOL Q&A was this:
Me: Why did you pick law?
Him: Because there's nothing else to study. I don't like science, hate maths, so...nothing else to choose from.
Me: IKR!!!!!!

LOL. Many people end up studying law because they don't like science and maths, and they want a professional degree, so law is the best choice. LOL. I know currently this is my thinking, but I HAVE to START get PASSIONATE about IT. Or else I'll NEVER reach my dream of first class honours.

And I'll NEVER be successful. T.T

So we talked about what's next after SPM, and what about after A-levels. He advised me to get out of Penang (which I already plan to) because in your own hometown you will definitely be more relaxed than if you were in an unknown city. At KL it's obviously MORE challenging to survive. This will push me to grow up and deal with a lot of adult problems compared to living in shelter with family.

SO damn glad somebody agreed with my thoughts. He said he regretted staying in Penang for his A-levels and degree because it didn't allow for growing up. Also he said that people at KL converse more in English rather than Chinese, so it would definitely help with my less-than-perfect spoken English. Imagine how stupid I would look if I have to hesitate every time I want to state my case. LOL.

Here, in my hometown, everything is SO familiar that I know my way even if I close my eyes. I might even have friends studying the same thing with me. No challenge=No chance to grow up.
Studying here would be just like another high school year.

Great. Thanks for cementing my decision to leave! I had doubts after friends tried convincing me not to go. Now it's a done case. I don't care how homesick I could get. I have to get started as early as possible. :)

Anyway he said he went to UK for a year for his law degree. He went to Newcastle, further north of UK. He said it was amazing and I must go overseas if I get the chance to, because it's the best ever experience. I know!!! I don't care if I can't get into Cambridge/Oxford. Any other unis would be great, if only I can set my foot on UK soil. Wakaka.

This is SO beautiful!!!

We talked like for more than half an hour can you believe it? Because this is exactly what I want, a personal experience chat with a law graduate. Then I would be able to know a little bit about how the path is like, what to avoid and what to definitely go for!

Considering...considering colleges right now. Already have a few in mind but have to wait for results to be able to make a decision. The important questions that are still unanswerable are:
-Would government offer me a scholarship for my results?
-Would I get a good amount of scholarship money from the college with my results?
-What are my results? (Most Important)

Haiz. So I still have to WAIT.
Nervous...

Worried...

Tensed...

Stressed...

xD

Till then,