IB Finals in 48 hours-

Last post : early January.

Okcan.

Well I DID plan a few posts but they are all sitting in my draft folder because I never got around to finishing them. I’m sorry for being away; I’ll be back in about a month’s time! After finals I’ll finally get the time to blog again and I’m really looking forward to it because I have so much to say throughout the time I’ve been missing but I couldn’t find the time.

There’s only a couple of days left until IB finals start officially, and I’m kinda nervous now and need to get all my nerves out of my system. I’ve been given a conditional offer by Oxford (in case I didn’t mention anything about it lol cause I forgot what I posted and what I didn’t) and even though most of my seniors easily cleared the conditions, I’m afraid I’m not that confident myself.

The condition is 39 total points with 766 in HLs, and while I know I used to dream about 45, I’m not even sure now that a 7 in any of my HL subjects is doable. I’ve gotten 42 for my predicted grades (as of when I applied unis) and 39 for trials (even though I crammed and didn’t study much at all due to IAs/EE deadline overload PLUS idiotic exam timetable that put 3 different subjects in one day for me wtf), but still, I guess I just hate external markers. They are so unpredictable haha.

Sigh.

Hmph.

There isn’t an end to this, is there? All those major exams are like missions to clear, and they just keep coming without a drop in lethality. Everybody said SPM was the last hurdle, but noooooo I still have to clear this one. I supposed it’s my fault for not applying to the US (since they generally have unconditional offers) and UK is just notorious for high conditions. :s

Sometimes I can’t even NOT feel kiasu, to the point that I feel that it is ingrown and permanent in me. Technically I can just put my insurance choice as Edinburgh and go there almost effortlessly (conditions 34pts; 555 in HLs) but noooo I have to slave over finals like I’m dying to go to Oxford. (how ironic when applying for it was an afterthought). All because of my family (the news has spread to my extended relatives and school teachers because the offer came right before Chinese New Year yay) since I really don’t want to let them down after all the support (financial/emotional) they have given me and also unfortunately my asshole kiasu-ness since everyone left and right of me are being awesome people getting famous/being pro/achieving stuff better than what I’ve ever done.

Admittedly I don’t like being left behind in the kiasu race even though I know I said (and acted) that I don’t give a shit about superficial kiasuness. I feel like a hypocrite now lol. You know I feel like turning down Oxford and firming UCL instead which was what I really wanted to do back then. I had no hope at all about Oxford, so I was planning to firm UCL and insure Edinburgh because they’re both what I really want after tons of research. Getting the Oxffer (omg I’m punning?) has caused me so much trouble to make my decisions that I’m still putting off deciding until the deadline.

The deadline is 6^th of May, and today is 2^nd of May. I wanted to decide just now but I got stuck at the page for a long time panicking so I’ve decided to take my HL exams first (starting 4^th May) and see how it goes. Hopefully I’ll be able to do really well so that I can feel more confident about my decisions.

COME LET'S STUDY

A little update about what I’ve been up to: I’ve been studying and overnighting at Blyan’s studio apartment (not his home la obviously, this is like a…rest house?) for a couple of weeks now, with Nic and JY raiding the place every afternoon-night and sometimes overnighting too (we have a sofabed + a bed so it’s just nice for all four of us to snore there). And we take turns to be the DJ and play tracks from Youtube that each of us choose in turn. It’s pretty fun and rather effective (well today nobody was here and I’m not very productive, + I spent a week snoozing about 3 weeks ago when this hasn’t started yet). I’m glad I have a study group even though it’s really rather late to start (my SPM study group started two months before?). I work best in silence but I like groups as they at least keep me awake lol.

I should go back to studying now I think. Hopefully I’m extra productive in the next 48 hours because I HAVE A TERRIBLE EXAM TIMETABLE AND I AM GOING TO SUFFER FOR FOUR CONSECUTIVE DAYS.

Exam timetable below:

See what I mean? 3 HLs and 1 SL all packed in four consecutive days. Can’t be luckier wtf. Everybody else has better timetables and I know I get the worst share because nobody takes Economics and Psychology together. Maybe Dr Brice was trying to save me from this terrible fate by discouraging me to take both subjects last time. Lol. Oh well. At least I get to rest and do last minute Math practices (I swear my Math level is still in the grade 5 band, need to relearn shit that I forgot lol) and relax with French videos (haha) until French exam.

Well anyway I’m going to study and then sleep. I need to spam some upbeat songs to keep myself awake. That bed looks too tempting.