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Wednesday, July 31, 2013

时间可以让自己适应一切 :)

寂静的深夜。

住的是城市,但不繁杂,因为这里是属于有钱人的地区,而且不是中心。
但是还是看不到星星,今晚的天空也乌云密布,连月亮也若隐若现。

在这里已经一个月了,但还会想家。
很多时候别人总会劝说,不开心的事情就不要想,烦恼都不要压抑在心里。
可是我解决烦恼/心事的方法是倒转的。
越会让自己伤心的东西,就越会不由自主地想。
想为什么会这样?或者就纯粹觉得伤心。
然后同样地重复、重复。久了,时间过了,也就麻木了,也就开始一点一点地释怀了。
也就慢慢不再因为那件事而不开心。

也就真的解决了。

为什么我说这样很管用?
因为如果我们很坚持不去想,如果每次那个心事一涌上心头就狠狠地把它甩在一边,努力让自己不去理睬,不去处理那些感觉
那以后如果有一天那些心事突然回来的时候,原本的情绪统统都还会在。
自己根本就没有放下过。

但是如果你让那些心事想来就来,甚至对那些情绪表示欢迎,慢慢地时间会让你适应那些情绪,适应那些心事所带来的变化,慢慢地让你不那么在乎,慢慢地让你开始觉得“没什么”,日后就算那些不好的心事/回忆归来的时候,你也不会被影响。:)

就像我想家。
就像我一开始对新的环境不能适应的时候。
虽然这100%是我的决定,虽然父母其实很想让我在槟城读书,继续留在家。
但是我还是
很想回家。
就好像你知道你应该做的,和你此刻想要做的,是不一样的东西。
我知道我应该离开家,出去看世界也学会自立。父母也同意这个决定。
但是当你真正离开家的时候,你却会想家,此刻就是想回家,管它什么自立不自立。

但我也知道不能回家。
最多,最多也只能打电话回家。
我知道父母也很想念我,特别是妈妈,因为跟她很亲近,好多东西都会告诉她。
我想他们也在适应没有我的生活吧!
爸爸还在那边担心我这次出去就再也不会回去跟他们住了。=.=""""
可是我相信时间可以让大家适应一切。
再苦再痛再伤心的事,给自己一些时间,让应该来的情绪自然地来,不需要藏不需要压抑,时间会证明给你看其实后来真的没什么的。
都会没事的。
只要死不了就还好啊。:)

真的,不需要逃避。
需要多久的适应,就用多久,没有时间限制。
因为每个人对每个事情都有不一样的反应,不一样的适应能力。
虽然不是笑笑就能过去了,但是继续以最积极的态度去生活,觉得伤心的时候就伤心一小阵子,生活就不会有压力了。
而你会发现,那些“伤心的小阵子”,会随着时间渐渐减少。
有一天,你甚至记不起多久没想起这个事情了。

当然,想家,是怎样都不可能完全消失的。只是生活快乐了,安定了,就不会常常太想念家,不会一直都无法习惯目前的生活,然后害到自己不能专心。


还是想家。

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Circle Lens - Freshkon Alluring Eyes Mesmeric Black Vs Mystical Black Review



Never thought I'd do a circle lens review but here it is. Initially I was too lazy to review because I think cosmetic lens are like fashion, one man's meat might be another man's poison, so it would be pointless if I rave about a certain product, only to have people getting it and finding that they didn't like it as much as I do. Same goes to fashion hauls, reviews etc.

I'm only reviewing this because I purchased the wrong colour =.=


First off here is the info on this particular circle lens:
  • 55% water content for optimal comfort
  • Full circle print for brighter eyes
  • Large optical zone - clearer vision
  • Wide power range from plano to -10.00D
  • Long hours wear > 8 hours
You can google the posters/ads so I'm not attaching them here.
Cost RM45 a monthly pair (mine's the monthly one but you can get dailies)
Yes I know it's damn expensive because I think for RM60 you can actually get 3 months worth of prescription lens =.=
Or rather, I think you can get Korean/China made circle lens for like less than RM10 a month worth?

But I'm super scared of them. :/
Too many brands, too many styles, and they don't look very hygienic, being sold like that in glass bottles scattered everywhere at night markets. :/
Plus I've heard horror stories about those cheap cheap lens causing lots of problems. So right, I get my lens (prescription and circle) from actual optical shops. I don't care if it's more expensive. I mean, if those Korean/China lens are good and reliable, why are optical shops not selling them?


Colour: A few months ago (I think it was April) I got the Freshkon Alluring Eyes in Mesmeric Black because they didn't have the Mystical Black colour in my eye power. According to them the former colour is lighter (and more natural) than the latter. So..ok lo, since my first circle lens right, must get a more natural look. It looks black enough. Unfortunately I forgot which colour when I purchased my second pair, so I ended up with a different colour (Mystical Black) instead. Oh well, here's a comparison of the colours should you be wondering which to get.


There is a slight noticeable difference when immersed in the solution. I'm not sure if you guys can see clearly from the above photos but Mesmeric is lighter. When compared, it almost look a bit dark greyish because it's a slightly lighter shade of black. Mystical is much more black with a more defined pattern.

Personally I think it doesn't matter much when I'm actually wearing it. I don't see any clear difference, and I don't think anyone would notice if I'm wearing a different colour in each eye. Maybe because my eyes are very dark brown. Lighter irises might see a difference, I don't know.
If your eyes are like mine and aren't really black, you can actually see a bit of pattern around the outer rim. It isn't really a problem for me because you can only see it clearly close-up.

Mystical Black
Effect: The pattern is quite nice I think. It gives a natural enlarging effect to the iris so your eyes seem brighter. Bonus is you still look like you, because it doesn't make you have a glassy look (and end up looking like a blind person), unlike some other circle lens. If you wanna look totally doll-looking though, this might be too natural for that effect. This is good even for normal days instead of only for parties. Eyes do look bigger, but it's only 14.2mm in diameter so it won't look too fake.

Mystical Black
Oh and you can still pull the look off without too much makeup. Some circle lens are too obviously dolly that you need a lot of makeup (fake lashes, heavy eyeliner etc) to complete the doll look. Here is me without eye makeup (seriously toooo lazy to put anything more than a little blusher every time I go out =.=)

Left with the lens on, right without
Mesmeric Black
With Mesmeric Black circle lens on
Initial Comfort: I don't know about other people but apparently my eyes need some time to get used to circle lens (each new pair). Each time I put a new pair of Freshkon circle lens in for the first time, my eyes show all and every sign of rejection. They turn really red, become so teary I look like I'm crying, hurt like you've been crying for a few hours and generally feel very uncomfortable. An hour later they feel much better, and the second time I put in they don't feel so irritated anymore. The comfort generally increases and after a few times, they feel normal and no more weird symptoms. This only applies to circle lens though, because I have no such problem when it is a normal pair of transparent, prescription lens.

One little note: The packaging case for the lens was too big in my opinion. Too much solution for the lens to immerse in, causing one of it to turn inside out. I didn't know which was the right side up (sometimes it's hard to determine) and I ended up putting the wrong side in. If normal lens with the wrong side up hurts, you can't imagine the stinging-like-hell sensation when I put the circle lens for the first time in, wrong side up. Felt like acid? You bet. =.=
The right side up felt uncomfortable for the first time but nowhere near as stinging as the wrong side up. =.=
Under sunlight
Mesmeric Black
Final Comfort: Was pretty happy with it, used it for more than a month (a little less than two months) and still feeling quite comfortable. I know you shouldn't do it but during the first month I didn't use it everyday (like a few times a week?) so technically should be fine. It doesn't give me migraines either (I get migraines easily and especially when wearing lens). By the way, I have kinda dry eyes (but not too serious), so not all lenses feel very comfortable.

The awesome thing is about it is that a two-month-old Freshkon circle lens feels way way way comfy than a one-day-old Acuvue Advance Plus prescription lens (which is supposed to be really thin and comfy!). Go figure. Maybe it's just me. Maybe my eyes just don't like Acuvue.
Plus it's super easy to put in and take out. It fits to the eye in 3 seconds (may be a bit longer if I just got out of bed and eyes are too dry), taking out is a breeze too because it slides out easily. :)

Mesmeric Black
Verdict: It's obvious from all of the above that I love love love this particular circle lens! Regarding the difference between the two black colours, I can safely say that there is no visible difference at all when wearing, and only slight difference in the case. If you're worried then I can tell you Mesmeric looks lighter, so you can make your decision, but really, there's no difference. Regarding comfort, I can even wear it up to 16 hours straight (6am-10pm) for seven days (when I went to Vietnam for a vacation) and still feel comfortable. My longest record is 20 hours but even though there's minimal irritation at the end of the day, I haven't done it a second time because it really isn't healthy.

Sometimes I fall asleep with them on (for maybe an hour only, not at night) and although of course I wake up to sore eyes, the feeling goes away after a while. For best optical health though, take them out when you're going to sleep and don't wear them for more than 8 hours. :)

Mystical Black
Not really thinking of trying Acuvue circle lens for the moment (because my eyes don't like that brand haha) but might try the brown colour of this Freshkon line, when the new black pair is expired. :P
Of course this is only my opinion. Different people might experience differently because our eyes are unique. ;)

Take care of your eyes, no matter what!
Love,

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Study "Secrets" to A+s, As in PMR/SPM Exams



PMR and SPM are some months away, trial exams for them are just around the corner and I've been cornered by many juniors at my high schools (and older nephews/nieces) asking me about study secrets to success in those exams, since I scored straight As in both.

What can I say? Reminds me of reporters asking us how did we get good results during the result-day. (I basically just blab something totally untrue)

I believe 60% of the people who scored high in exams generally just have better memory and are just born smart. Now I'm not saying I'm born smart, 'cause there are so many smarter people and geniuses out there, plus I really did put a lot of effort into studying for the exams, but usually people who score better are those who can understand and retain knowledge easily.

Ever heard of anyone who says: "I am so interested in so-and-so topics/subjects, and I can understand it at the moment with a little explanation, but after some time I just forgot/can't understand. So I end up not knowing what to write during exams."

Now I'm also not saying that people like that will forever be average and never score As. That's a wrong concept and I did once consider to be a teacher just to let everyone know that this is so untrue. (LOL)
I think average students just need to have a lot of personal attention and explanation from teachers, as well as doing a lot of exercises. Anyone can score good grades.

So here are my study secrets, apply when and where necessary:

-Get your languages mastered. Average students are almost always average only because of being weak in languages. Consequently they end up not understanding the other subjects in English/Malay because they don't understand the meaning of terms/sentences/words. And even if you explain and they finally understand, they still can't transfer the knowledge to paper because they have no idea how to write and explain what they know in a language they are weak in. I think this is the most crucial step and many students need to realize this. If they can master the language, what's stopping them from mastering the knowledge?

-Organize study groups! This is so effective, especially if you have like-minded friends who are keen to study. Actually it doesn't hurt to joke around for a while, just know when to stop. Find the balance between being serious and humour, and you'll all be fine. I think this is my only major "secret"!

-Self-study. I only do this when exams are around the corner. Usually I'm like "so many subjects, which to study?" and when the exam timetable is out (a week before), only then I start planning when to study what, because it's easier. I study right up till the last minute, especially when it's a huge exam (mid year, end of year, trial, etc).


Yes this means a few hours of sleep, burning the midnight oil and doses of caffeine while munching on every page of the thick reference books, just to be sure I didn't leave out any tiny piece of info. Of course I don't recommend everyone to do the same, because health deteriorates, risk of blanking/sleeping during exams, yadayadayada but that is what I did and I am being honest here. You can try during one of the minor exams. If you can push through, welcome to the Midnight Oil Club. If not, you're better off studying consistently everyday and drilling through exercises. :)

I'm told that this is only effective for students who are so afraid of blanking during exams because they haven't read up on certain information recently. The majority of students will just fall asleep halfway through burning midnight oil. 

-Know which are your weakest topics/subjects/parts in exam papers and drill yourself accordingly. Sometimes there is just not enough time to go through everything so focus on the stuff that you understand the least first.

-Tips and tricks. You can learn many tips/tricks to write better answers which lead to better grades. Sometimes these are taught by school teachers, mostly by tuition teachers, and if you ask around you can probably get a whole box of tips from friends. Stay up-to-date about the wants of Ministry of Education. They change stuff a lot, all the time.

-Do one question on one piece of paper. This is soooooo true! Why? Because it lets you do the questions you know first, and leave the difficult ones until later, and even lets you do extras if you are not sure on the previous questions you have chosen, and then arrange them by sequence properly and clip up neatly! Using less paper and saving environment is the last thing you can have on your mind during big public exams. If it eases your guilt, the papers will probably be recycled.

What I did not do much of (super guilty!) but you are generally very, very much advised to do:

-Pay lots of attention in class:  I do try to, but when swamped by co-curricular activities and talking with friends which are so much more fun and late homework piling up, I just give up.

-Take notes during class: Truthfully I spend my time in class doing late homework, copying from the blackboard and gossiping with friends. But seriously. But take notes if you have particularly bad memory.


-Ask teachers if there are any questions/problems: Not all the time. Occasionally, yes. But during lessons, sometimes it's hard to ask, and most of the time when you want to ask them after lessons, they are just not there. And always there when you already have the answers. Weird right? But yes, this is still a good study tip.

-Do and pass up homework on time: I generally do my homework in class. NO IT'S NOT GOOD TO DO THIS. Homework is a form of drilling to help you understand the concepts and practise using them. So please do your homework and hand up on time. (will proclaiming this known fact do any lazy student any good?)



-Organize a study plan/timetable: I did try, but I end up messing things up and doing stuff when I shouldn't (on the timetable), so I don't anymore. I am a very disorganized person. But this is a really good piece of advice!

-Get a lot of sleep before exams: I burn the midnight oil. If I get a lot of sleep before exams, I end up feeling guilty, mind-blank because the knowledge isn't fresh in mind, and generally score badly. That's why a 3-week non-stop exam period makes me go crazy, because there are exams everyday and nights are sleepless consecutively five days per week. I hibernate for 24 hours afterward. But for those of you not used to sleeping for only a few hours, please get some sleep. No good to fall sick! 



So there they are, all "study secrets" that I can think of!
Hopefully I won't be as disorganized and lazy in college...but I'll find the balance between laziness and actual studying, like always.
(because I'm probably one of those kiasu students, but also one of those "smart" people who are aware of what is important, what is not, what I can get away with not doing properly, what I can't get away with and have to work hard on, etc. Is smart the right word? Haha.) :P

Study smart, not study hard. Don't work hard on something not worth it and ignore important ones.
Chill, it's not nearly as hard as you think, you just have to be bothered to study and do revision. Trust me.
Good luck to all of you guys taking PMR/SPM!

Love,

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Growing Hair Out Is......

Terrible.

I don't think there's any other word for it. :(
*pain in the ass*

I'm trying to grow it out ever since graduating from high school, where most government Chinese schools in Penang you're supposed to cut short your hair. After 18 years, almost two decades of short hair, I'm embarking on this great journey of growing it out.

It's been half a year since then, everyone's hair been growing long slowly but we're all resisting the urge to cut it off. =.= At this stage of awkwardness it's easy to want to just give up and have short hair for the rest of my life.
Hair looks like this at best :'(
It's at an awkward length, it's too short to tie up properly, too long to leave it alone, I can't curl it, can't style it, and it ends at the nape of my neck like nobody's business, causing the end to curl outwards and generally looking horrible. No coaxing whatsoever will make it straight, except to rebond it, which would make it too straight. And I don't think curling it would look nice on me...I'm a chicken at changing hairstyles.

*sigh* Feel like throwing in the towel and get my scissors.
Note to self: PUT THE SCISSORS DOWN.

Got some hair accessories during my vacation at Vietnam to survive this through. This is trauma. :(
I think all of my friends who are still growing out their hair can relate to this. :(
I will still need at least a year to clear the awkward length.
A year.
:'(

It's actually better than a month ago at least. My lifesaver is this very nice berry-scented hair moisturizing spray called Liese Juicy Shower Moisturizing Hair Mist. The smell is quite nice, and spraying a lot won't overwhelm because it's a light scent. The best part is it's not hair cream/wax/gel, so it doesn't feel oily and heavy (omg I just hate hair gel!!! They make my hair feels sticky :/ ). In fact it dries naturally after a while but leaving hair really smooth. :D
Not sure how long it will last since I've just begun to use it.


Oh well, not to worry, I'm sure hair will continue to grow. ;)
Grow, grow, grow! :P

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Movie Review: Murder On The Orient Express (1974)




I know this is like so old, 1974, but I'm sure people are still watching this. If you're a fan of Agatha Christie like me, you will definitely love this movie. But if you're not, then it largely depends on your movie taste. If you're inclined toward movies with lots of action, chasing, bombings and a good dose of gunshots and explosions, this will not fit your bill.

If you're interested in cold-blooded murder, interrogation of suspects, piecing clues together and deducing how it happened, who was the murderer and what was his/her motive, then this is for you, especially if you've always found Agatha Christie's books intriguing but never bothered to read 300 pages long.

Truthfully speaking, I'm more inclined towards the books rather than the movies, even though I've seen this. The reason is because a book can tell so much more than a film could, and Agatha Christie's murder stories are always a total delight. If you like gory descriptions of murders, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed, but I super love the twists and turns in the books that left me dazed and never sure who was the murderer. I think I've only guessed correctly once (but I didn't know how he could have murdered the victim until it was revealed) about the murderer.

Maybe I'm stupid, but I really don't mind because I always end up pleasantly surprised that the murderer was someone I never expected, and the best part of A.C's books is where the detective (usually Poirot) finished by reconstructing the whole situation and takes the reader through the before, during and after of the murder, show you how it was done, and included all the clues and red herrings neatly into the plan. A.C's murder stories are perfect because you never end up wondering about a loose end that hasn't exactly tied up, and you always end up feeling LOL and thinking "perfectly crafted murder plan, why didn't I think of that?"

I love that SHHS has a huge collection of Agatha Christie's books. I've borrowed all of them that are available, and enjoyed them, especially ones with Hercule Poirot as the main detective because they have the best plots and endings. As modern and new as CHC's library is, the only gripe I have about it is there are only two A.C's books. :/

Back to the movie.
Murder On the Orient Express is almost like the book I supposed. I have not finished reading it. At the time of watching this movie, I was only halfway through the book (it was an ebook, hence the slow speed) and have not reached the part where the murderer is announced. So..I guess it quite spoiled the book for me, because I now know the ending, but I think it would have been better to watch the movie first.

This is because a movie is exactly a movie, you finish a 2 hour movie to know the ending. It would not have been nearly as enjoyable had you known the ending. This is a film adaptation of a book, there isn't much to discover except perhaps how the actor (Albert Finney) portrays Hercule Poirot in his lead role. On the other hand, it would still be an enjoyable read because I can still appreciate the various scenes and interrogations in the book that would lead towards the final how/who/why.

Atmosphere: The time is set sometime
Soundtrack:
Acting:
Screen Plot:

Sunday, July 21, 2013

The Elusive Romantic "Feel": Can It Be Created?


You know what, I realized I've gone weeks (more than a month?) without posting anything about romantic relationships. I've posted anything but that. It feels like I wanna avoid it like the plague, doesn't it?

Actually I haven't posted anything is because this part of my life is stagnant (possibly due to the rotting at home for past two months :/), no new updates about my friends either (one of them is having a crush on someone though, but she hasn't done anything about it, yet. :P). Plus I haven't gone out much and so have no new thoughts about it (we all know scripts of television dramas and novel plots are never gonna happen in real life, so no point commenting.)

I know in this particular photo both are picture-perfect =.=
Anyway I noticed a couple (hence thinking about it) just a few days ago (I haven't thought about it ever since you-know-what) and the girl was very pretty, but the guy was...(hesitation)...plain. Wait, maybe can categorized as downright-not-good-looking. (I'm being cruel here but he'll never know so that's okay). And my first response was like "wth? What does she see in him?"

Same case when I see super good-looking guys with super plain girls. They are not a picture-perfect couple. But sometimes, if you observe long enough, you can feel their love. :)

I know, mind-my-own-business, but it's just a passing thought, what's the harm?

Personal opinion: Guess the "feel" is at work again.

What's the "feel"?
You know, when someone asks "how will I know I really like/have a crush on him/her?" and people just go "oh, you'll know" and nod knowingly like they are in on some secret?

I don't know. I think the mysterious "feel" is like when you see that person, your stomach feels weird, and when you are with that person, you can't help but smile, and the big sign is you're actually thinking of the possibility of being in a romantic relationship together.
For me it's the stomach. If my stomach doesn't feel like it has many many butterflies and bats in it, sorry, it's a no go. Even if there's one butterfly.

Sometimes it just isn't there. It sucks (especially if the person concerned is really nice and is quite a perfect package) but there's nothing you can do. Trying to be in a romantic relationship with someone you don't have the spark for feels fake and uncomfortable. :/
So how would you know? Most of the time you have to spend some time with the person concerned, face-to-face, to know. (that's the problem). Never trust online "feel", it's too unreliable. I learnt this the hard way. :(

Contrary to popular belief, you never get the "feel" only once in your life, so the myth about "The One" is busted. ;)
There is also another myth about very good looking girls (and guys) have a better shot at romantic relationships, which is busted too because a lot of long-term relationships that I know around me don't always consist of a picture-perfect couple.

If you've never ever gotten someone to crush on you, I'll let you in on a little secret:
Fix your personality.
Personality matters a lot! *winks*
(I know, it's no secret, but you'll be omg at how lots of people try to fix their looks, put lots of makeup, go for cosmetic surgery and such but no one seems to care about their personality.)

Emotional connection aka "The Feel" > Personality/Intellect > Looks

The key is that an interesting personality creates the feel out of nowhere. Or so I believe. Hmmmm. Sometimes it's like "I won't ever date him/her" when both of you are acquaintances, but the "feel" will sometimes be created when you spend more time with that person and become good friends.
Something call 日久生情 in chinese? Hmmmm.

(Oh and looks still kinda matters. We're all superficial to some extent. So don't be lazy on looking your best all the time!)

Love,

Friday, July 19, 2013

I'm A Defecting Science Student :P

Is it already a week since classes start?
So far the classes have been quite enjoyable. I'll tell you more when I have the time. Homework must be done first. (see, I'm such a good student :P)
(In actual fact there is nothing I would like to do more than to come back to my apartment and just fall asleep)
All joking and seriousness aside, it has been a can-say-good start and I have not regretted my decision to defect from science stream.

A few months ago I was:

Why? Because I'm interested in science, but I hate science. Go figure. I guess I can understand YP now. She loves reading up on Biology-related stuff all the time (I remember we were preparing for an interview and the day before she was still reading about bears. =.=) but she hates studying Bio. She is studying Foundation in Science with Biology units and regretting so much, she is considering to do a pure chemistry degree later.

For my Pre-U I considered A-Levels at first, since it was undoubtedly the most popular choice. But there are subject limitations (you can choose at most 4 subjects, and most of the time colleges won't let you take a mix of science and humanities subjects), and not to mention certain weak subjects to avoid because top UK unis are choosy. Weak subjects include Business, Law, Accountancy, and so on which are all humanities subjects.

Hmph. I was actually considering taking both law and accountancy so I would know now which I like better, but apparently UK unis think that doing specialised subjects this early is bad. :(
The most popular 4-sub (Bio, Chem, Phy and Math) will kill me.

So I took the IBDP.


For the subject combo it's still pretty much decided, you must choose a first language to study literature, a foreign language, a social science, an experimental science, Mathematics, and arts, (which you can substitute with a second social/experimental science)

Which are pretty easy to choose since colleges offer limited subjects for each group, plus I can mix science and business and humanities subjects! ;)

So I only chose Biology for my experimental science, and Maths, both at standard levels, not high levels.
So happy about it :D
With my subject combo you will never think that I was a pure science student before :P
(although it might cross your mind since I'm taking Biology, the most "specialised" science, primarily for doctor/dentist/pharmacist wannabes)

Unfortunately even with my A+ list I still don't like sciences and maths.


See, an A+ at SPM doesn't actually reflect on one's interest in a particular subject, only the ability, and not even natural ability. Knowledge was all spoon-fed. Most of the time I don't really want to know anything about it. I studied to sit for exams and achieve good grades, that's all.
Not because I like the subject. The subject was important only to propel me to a scholarship and get a favourable spot at Pre-U.

You need to have learnt sciences at SPM to be able to take up sciences at Pre-U, and parents wanted to keep my options open. Plus it's the natural, normal thing for a student with good enough grades to do. Getting into anything other than science stream would be considered a waste.

*sigh*

The worst thing is that I feel like 7 months of doing nothing relevant to academic has caused me to forget everything I've learnt, particularly and especially Maths. I don't have any natural talent for Maths. :(
I remembered how in April I sat for an Add Math test at an interview, the questions looked so familiar and I was so sure they were straightforward ones, but I just couldn't remember how to do them.

Oh well. I'll have to do some catching up then. Sucks that for IB, Maths is a compulsory thing to do (it even has a group all on its own), but even if I'm taking A Levels, my mom is never gonna let me ditch Maths, 'cause it's so important and useful, so it's still the same.

But I'm defecting a lot more to social science, so it should be better than SPM (where I took 3 sciences, 2 maths, 3 languages [2 of them not my strengths], History and Moral [both with syllabuses that I dislike])
I'm taking English [playing up my strength], Economics and Psychology [social sciences!] at HL (high level). :P

I know I'm taking a risk with those two subjects that I've never had contact with. :/
I wanted so so much to take History (it's a world thing!) but not offered (I died in grief)
Interestingly enough though I would rather take a HL risk with Econs and Psych than swapping with Bio and Maths, subjects which I've already studied before.
I am seriously so not cut out to be a science student, my God.
Why did I spend the past two years in misery?
Challenge accepted

Well~ I have 6 weeks to decide for myself if that's all right. If not, I can change levels and even subjects within that time. Although if I do change, I'm screwed because I'd have to buy new books for Bio/Math at different levels, 'cause those two are the only ones that use different books for different levels. :((((

*and one textbook cost more than RM100, over RM200 for Maths*
*and not covered by MOE*
*btw, my textbooks cost totalled up to exactly RM1229.75*
*excluding lab fees [forgot], lab attire [65], and graphic display calculator [450]*

So I'd better be sure. =.=
Don't want to burn a bigger hole in my parents' pocket than I've already burnt.
*even though they said there's more than enough in my "education fund"*

Defecting from something familiar always holds a great risk.
The risk of regretting.
But change doesn't come without change.
And the thought of spending another two years slavering over difficult science topics is a nightmare.
Change is in time. :)

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

ECA Recruitment Drive-July Intake

Note: I wrote this a few days ago. And did not post it up due to being “quarantined” at TCSJ for some performance workshops. (which is a bit sleep-inducing by the way)
Anyway it's actually my sample work, written for the application for the Editorial Board of TCSH, so..yeah. It's kinda very formal. Definitely not the style I would write for my blog. So I totally understand if you guys give weird looks while reading through. :P
Plus the pics are taken with my phone at the last minute so ignore them, they're not very good.

Being an IB junior having just started on her second day of lessons at Taylor's College Sri Hartamas, I really did not know what to expect when we were told that the ECA Recruitment drive would be happening today. After all, college is very much different from high school. All I knew was that everyone had an accelerated timetable and we have a few hours of free time to attend the recruitment drive and sign up for the clubs that we are interested in.

Around 11.15am, when we finally emerged from the classroom, we were greeted already by the incessant chatter of both juniors waiting for the event to start and also the seniors still setting up their booths. It was held at the second floor, with over 20 booths looking for new members.


Dramatic music pierced through the chatter of students and teachers, signifying the commencement of the event and also lifting up everyone's spirits. Although there are not very many clubs due to the small student population here, the nature of the available clubs spanned over a wide range, including many sports-related clubs such as Tennis Club, Basketball Club and the newly formed Running Club, as well as service clubs which include Project Adopt, Leo Club and Rotaract Club. Interested in culinary? Join the Food Club. Want to sharpen your oral skills? There are Debate Club and TCSHMUN. For budding writers and photographers, there is the Editorial Board. Fans of anime? Anime Club is the answer. And if you're up for the challenge, go ahead and try for Student Council!

To attract new members, many clubs did their best to decorate their booths and also dress up. The Psychology club hung a huge banner and offered free personality tests; the DOT (Doctors of Tomorrow) club had a human anatomy model at their booth and dressed up as doctors; members of the Student Council marked themselves on their cheeks with “SC” so that everyone could recognize them; members of De Fashionista Club too dressed up and offered free manicures. Performances were held during the event as well to liven up the atmosphere and get everyone within hearing distance into the mood.


The atmosphere was warm and very cheerful. There was no antagonistic feeling; no one had their noses in the air, not even club presidents. Committee members were friendly and eager to help explain anything about the club. There was persuading but no forcing, and no complaints were reported. As TCSH is a relatively small campus with a little over 800 students, it is very easy to keep bumping into friends and acquaintances. Even I who have only been here for less than two weeks smiled and said hi every few minutes. Imagine the excitement and enthusiasm of those who had been here longer; the mingling and chatter over the music made it clear that all of us had a great time.

Everyone had a lot of fun, whether it was promoting their clubs or like me, looking for new clubs to join. Each and every club promises interesting opportunities, experiences and skills that could be acquired. I am sure that many of the juniors had a hard time not overloading themselves with the number of clubs they have signed up for. The event ended at 1.15pm, but the merriness lingered on throughout the day. All in all, the event was a true success, and here's hoping that the next ECA recruitment drive will be as awesome as well.

Afresh. Alone. Again. :)


The mood is a bit down.
Just a tiny little bit.
But this isn't the first time I'm starting afresh at some place new.
This isn't the first time I'm alone, like without an old friend with me.

I already come prepared for any feeling that I might have during the transition.
I know I'll be missing my friends, missing the gang of craziness personified.
I know I'll be thinking no one, no group of friends can ever replace them.
I know I'll be feeling like it's impossible to recreate those memories, and that it sucks to only have memories and perhaps never have a reunion with all of them as a complete group again.

:/


And I also know that it won't last for long.
It'll fade after a while.
It's a big life change, to separate away from everything familiar.
Going to an unfamiliar place, being with unfamiliar people.
But it'll fade, with time, and with new friends.
And although the old crazy group will always be in my heart, I'll stop actively thinking about them all the time.
And carry on with a new life at a new place with new people.
Oh, I know it'll be fine.

I read back a few of my entries on blog/diary (I never actually posted up some of them) from the first few days at SHHS, and I almost laughed out loud. I was super super unhappy about it and complained about everything under the sun, and feeling awfully alone because everyone was talking and joking around and I was the new girl there, so it was really uncomfortable.

Haha this is really cute <3
But two (and a half) years later I'm best friends with a few of them, good friends with many of them, and friends with most of them. And I'm included in their big group (you know there's always a main group of crazy people in any given class), so social life had been awesome. And so I don't suppose I'll fare worse here right?

But nothing will be enough to combat that rush of emotions, that feeling of loss.
Guess it's still kinda hard for me to adapt, even after that many times of change.
All I get isn't resilience but only knowledge of what is coming.
Losing so much in such little time is a bit hard to take in all at once.


Here I am, with a feeling of deja vu.
Starting afresh, alone, again.
We can't afford to stand still while the sand falls through the hourglass and life whips through the wind all around us.
We have to move on, stride forward.
Take baby steps at the very least.
Life is not for the weak.
People who can't move on, too weak to take life head on
Will never succeed, will they?

I can.
Life is all about challenges and adventures.
And I am confident that no matter how I feel now, I am going to feel better in the near future.
And I will have survived through this, alone, without any friends from the past, without any family.
Yes, it's a tough call.
But something is only greatly valued when it doesn't come easy, when it is risky and difficult.
Friends will leave you sooner or later one day, to reach for their own dreams.
Why settle for something less than what you really want just because you're scared of the unknown, afraid of being alone, when you're going to end up alone too someday?


Be brave, be courageous, and aim for something high, something you really want, something that you need to jump to reach it.
And when you catch it, it'll all be worth it. :)

Let go of the bad memories.
Let the good ones be where they should be; buried deep inside the heart.
Leave the past behind.
Follow your dreams. :)